Sweets

hola :)~

2010-02-10T23:10:00.003+02:00

dumela... hello... goeie dag... gutendag... howzit???!!!

Slyde it does feel like we broke up... when i'm sleeping in the fetal position with my thumb in my mouth i think of you ok?.... somehow that just doesn't sound right does it?

what's new yall? my life is droning on, my life actually has a life of it's own, i know, makes no sense, but yeah... everything happens as it should, when it should... i've bought some new batteries for my vibrator so yes, life is goooooooood :)

my kids are so darn wonderful, Jay offered to buy me a valentines gift, awww right? hmmmm... not so much... Kay has got bigger feet than me and a busier social life than his mother... it's just all happening so fast... oh i should tell you about the funeral i went to this week... my mom's best friend passed away.... horrible cancer... anyway, i went to the funeral with my mom for moral support, my dad does not do funerals... so there i sat, and after about the 36th second my ass hit the pew the tears came... oh my gawd.... it was not a pretty sight... i was crying more than her children for goodness sakes... it wasn't that the pastor did such a sterling job, something just happened.... and there i sat with my mom consoling me... trying to focus on the bricks, trying to desperately count them (or something! but at that moment the bricks was all i had ok?) i kept wiping the tears and every time ten more tears dribbled down my cheeks... it was awful...embarrassing even... i now know why i also don't do funerals... they take me to a nasty sad place where i realize that life actually does end... it sucks man... wait, no i'm not depressed (again)... after the holidays my depression lifts like a snot filled cloud, i love the new year... clean slate and all that.... other shocking family news is that my (ex) father in law knocked my poor ex mother in law over with the car... i shit you not... every time i think about it i start laughing... crazy...crazy family.... he said it was an accident but hmmm not so convinced...whahhahahhahha... crazy old coot... ahhh, so that's all the total irrelevant shit i could think about to write about...*sigh*...

so was that as good for you as it was for me?.... let me light a cig... i chatted with my peeps...good times! i'll meet slyde in dreamland, so yeah... life is good man... snot... love and happiness.... peace out till next time :)

me again...

2009-12-28T23:42:00.006+02:00

don't we make a lovely little family!?!

seems my off time leaves my mind to wander... so here i am again... i'm on a bit of a buzz me thinks... haven't slept in two days... no lies... will hopefully start yawning soonish...another few minutes and then it's my bday... i don't know how i feel about getting older... i actually don't like it one bit... i don't feel 37 and now i'm about to turn 38... 38!!!... shit... i know i know, age is just a figure, or a number ( i think the lack of sleep with my boer roots are kicking in now) and all that shit, but still... 38!!!! God have mercy...

no regrets tho...

rock on...

the fun bus is waiting :)~

me at 2 am...

2009-12-28T02:02:00.002+02:00

can't sleep... won't sleep... smoking one cigarette after another... chain smoker yes?... i'm on holiday, so my sleeping patterns are up to shit ok?.... and guess what i wanted at 2 am... to blog! how odd... i miss blogging... i miss bloggers... i logged onto gmail to see if anyone was online... and nada... fokol... :) i hate the silly season... christmas was ok up until midday... then my sister managed to spoil christmas... lovely person that she is.... so just when i thought i buried the ghost of chrimstas past... new year is still another load of crap i still have to face... i wrote a looooong blog post... but it's not for anybody to see... just me talking to me... gawd i miss you guys... hope the new year brings all that is beautiful... i'll get in line too :)

XXX

do the funky monkey...

2009-08-15T12:26:00.003+02:00

oh well, i tried, ok i didn't really... old deceased pc is standing in the corner... dead... ish... and i really don't have the time at the moment to do anything about it... ok i'm lying... no money.... just spent my SARS refund in 2.5 seconds... so yeah... busted... you are all so damn loyal it breaks my heart.... so i promise to return in 2010... ok? ok? ok?

i think i just got a tear in my eye...

my life is real sucky right now...so forgive me

*sigh*

miss you more than you know

XXX

will somebody spank me now please?!!!???

how rude i know...

2009-07-09T21:23:00.003+02:00

don't worry i'm pissed off at myself too...make a big hoohaa about being back and then all of a sudden i'm off the radar again....thing is... or was...my pc broke...batman offered to have it fixed... dodgy right?... and there i made my first mistake....well at least it's working now... hmmm... well halfway anyway... it's reaaaaaaaaaaaaaly slow... dodgy right???!!!!... blue screen of death of the graphics card... i still can't figure out what was wrong... maybe it was the card... cause it's lying on my kitchen counter....yeah lovely.... cause i have sooooooooooooooo much money lying around to buy another one... thing is... what's the point in offering to have the forkin pc fixed and then all you "have done" is to take out the broken parts and flippen well not replace it!!!.... dodgy!!!!!.... so i'll do my best to be back as soon as possible... but hell i'm not promising anything anymore... so toodles for a week or so... thanks for all your comments... you rock... but hey you knew that already... :)

ps; no picture today... poor pc is totally confused when i tell it to add a picture.... dodgy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

groovy baby

2009-06-14T22:36:00.005+02:00

the amount of posts i've written in my head the last few months is just insane... and here i am... after the millionth post... and i've just deleted like 3 posts... hmmm... i've lost my fucking groove haven't i???!!!! ... was NOT expecting that... so yeah... baby steps it'll have to be...

so as my first baby step lemme tell you about the total dish of a dentist i met on friday... just a pity i met him after i threw a total fit in the waiting room... i broke my tooth... right off... so about two weeks ago and R800 buckeroos later i had a new semi permanent little chomper until i could get a dreaded root canal and a new crown made... and friday morning i was chewing away on a piece of gum... and POP... off the semi jumps, i almost swallowed it... friday afternoon i went back to glue the fucker back right... then they produce the pre invoice you have to sign to basically ok all the thousands they are about to bill you for... so i had a back and forth with the receptionist about not paying one cent more... the whole office was involved.... loud voices and such... and i won... oh yeah oh yeah... but the dishy dentist was not impressed, all sexy and smouldering behind his little mask... hehe... i just know when to pick my battles don't I... soooo glad he didn't have to inject me cause i think he wanted to...erm... hurt me reaaaaaaaaal bad...

hell yeah :)

2009-06-12T20:08:00.005+02:00

oh

my

greatness!

is it odd that the excitement of this moment is almost as good as...as....ag i dunno... it's just so sooooooooooo good!!!

hello all of you crazy wonderful people!!! good heavens i've missed this shit :)

it is quite indecent, ok maybe indecent is the wrong choice of words, but i cannot completely explain to you how i have missed this crazy thing called blogging... and all the bloggers... man alive...

it all depends on how much airtime my new cellphone bestows on me, that's how much i'll blog and that's how much i'll read...

ok some news:

i'm good

still love the new job

my kids are still the cutest and wildest miniatures on the planet

and no, still no mantoy

ah man i have so much to tell you and this is all i come up with???

anyhoodle.... talk soon...!!!!

*jumping up and down from excitement*

whazzup yo?!

2008-10-30T07:58:00.002+02:00

goodness gracious me... get me some booze... this is not easy is it?

I'm not really back, i just miss so you damn much!!!

lemme just explain, i have no Internet access anymore, well barely, currently I'm stealing some from my sister... who incidentally offered me access whenever i need it, which is kind of cool... but... there's always a but right... half of the blogging experience is reading your bloggies man... so I'll can blog, no problem... but i can't read any of yours... so tell me, being the spastic techno retard that i am... can i follow your blogs via rss feed or something via my email? if so... ga... we might be in business!

ok so lemme know, seriously...

I'm still on leave, will start the new job on Monday, can't wait!
but on the other hand i could really get used to staying at home, fetching the kids from school... strangely comforting to be around them so much... anyhoodle...damn i have so much to tell you guys it's impossible to even remember one thing... dang... I've been dangerously social this past two weeks, had a lovely bloggirls get together on Saturday and the highlight of the two weeks...

i bought myself two absolutely dreamy dresses yesterday... at a Chinese shop nogal... i know, go figure... but I'm a girl after all and dresses, they make me happy :) the owner of the shop is so funny... all she can say in english is "yes... yes!"... so i used her for some positive reinforcement comments while trying on the dresses... "don't i look great??"... her reply...

yes... yes!!!

tell me my dear Chinese woman, would it not have been a good idea to learn some splanglish or some changlish before stowing away on the first best container heading for our shores?

yes... yes!!

i know... so how long have you been here? your shop has been around for at least two years, and you still don't bother to learn the language, what's up with that? you just wiping your ass on us or what?

yes... yes!!!

*sigh* i give up...

***

ja i know I'm pathetic, i was really determined with the "end" but am really
really
fucking really
missing this shit...

so... I'll ma see... lemme know about the rss thingymabob, maybe i should corner angel and let her enlighten me... oops that just sounded wrong right?

ok... until next time, whenever that might be :)

post number 324

2008-10-22T11:15:00.006+02:00

i honestly can't believe i've written 324 posts... BUT the biggest surprise is that you actually read my posts... if i haven't met angel, glugs, sheebs, tamara, jackson, jane, philly and mzmozi in real life, i prolly would have thought you all were a figment of my overactive imagination... :)~

i've been stewing with this for a while and because i'm a very black and white kind of girl... i've done it... i've made my decision... about 3 minutes ago... i'm indefinitely going to stop blogging... *sniff*... it's just how it is right now, and it's all or nothing for me... things have changed so much in my life, it's all good and i have to move on for now... i don't have the time, i won't have access at work to blog so, the decision was actually quite painless and easy... i tried reading a few blogs every day but that's driving my crazy... i HAVE to read all the blogs on my blogroll every day, yes, i know, i'm a bit of an overkill :)

i won't be deleting my blog
maybe i'll take it up again, whenever...
i'll still read your blogs, that i promise
this is sad yes?
for me anyway...it's been an awesome ride, and i've met some really incredible people that in some strange way have changed my world ...

so auf wederzein all of you beautiful people...
miss me ok?
cause i sure as shit will miss doing this and doing you... erm i mean reading your blogs :)

peace out...

are you offended yet?

2008-10-21T07:45:00.001+02:00

i have this teeny tiny pet peeve... and i know some of the blogs i read do exactly what i hate... so just tell me why, then maybe I'll get it...

some of you have your comments saved for the blog owner's approval... this is something i just

not

get

there is something to be said about being spontaneous dear fellow bloggers... don't be a scary cat... let the comments flow man... i promise you nobody is going to tell you that you are in fact the worst blogger in the world... sometimes there is a great rhythm going in the comments... and it doesn't even have anything to do with the blogger... it's like a mini chat room... and it's fun... so why are you spoiling my fun hey???? so strange... so tell me, why do you do it?

why?

huh?

why??

and please those of you who do this... don't take offence ok... i'm just asking... like me, there are loads of great bloggers out there, that don't leave hateful, disgusting comments on a daily basis...

if you want a big girl panty just ask me to send you one...

it's...

erm...

quite liberating :)~

ps: it's not that i'm not reading any blogs, i am trying so damn hard to, you have absolutely no clue...but my connection speed is just enough to drive me batty... so apologies all around...

unemployment...

2008-10-20T08:25:00.003+02:00

so you thought you got rid of me that easily?

ha...

think again :)

I'm at home, and blogging baby... not going anywhere!

very odd to be sitting here blogging... i should be at work... instead I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee and a cigarette... ah lovely... is this what all SAHM and daddyos do? i guess not... nobody to talk to... just the dishes and the unmade beds calling my name... I'm meeting a friend in an hour for a movie... yes a movie in the middle of the day...i can get used to this... for sure :)

so I'll be blogging at night from now on... no more internet freedom at work and I'll actually be working my sweet little ass into the ground... things change so fast yes? it does...

thanks for all your kind words, i dusted my shoes off when i left work on friday... and i didn't even shed a tear... i wasn't expecting to feel so numb about it all... guess a lot more baggage left than i expected...

have you noticed i haven't got anything to say today...

i don't...

clean slate? or maybe i just haven't woken up yet... my hair is standing in twelve different directions... and i'm lazy... hope to be back to my old self soon, this transition shit is not what it's cracked up to be...

anyhoodle... big girl panties signing off

(btw you guys are really digging my new big girl panty look... i could tell)

see ya

2008-10-17T07:58:00.003+02:00

it's my last day!

it's my last day!

it's my last day?

scary shit if you ask me...

yet incredibly exciting...

i'm letting go of my blankie...

putting my big girl panties on...

and i can't wait :)

have a great weekend!!!!

i have a dream

2008-10-16T07:54:00.009+02:00

i unfrickinfortunately don't dream much... i love to dream but for some bizarre unfair reason i think i sleep too deep or something... anyhoodle... now and again i dream real big... but unlike other normal people my mind stays in this dream-state but my eyes are open... and everything i dream, i see... then... after a few minutes... some part of my rational brain does kick in... so there i am part dreaming and part awake... indeed a very scary place to be... i usually have the same dream... a guy standing at the window, opening the curtain with a gloved hand... jikes... then i "wake up"... and i see him... i know I'm awake... and i know he's not real... he's all in my head... but damn at that moment... he's just standing there looking at me holding that damn curtain... awful... but... unless the gloved man has a ladder my window is thank goodness off limits to him now...

***

so... my brain concocted a new dream... sigh... i wake up last night half past 1... and there is a mouse on my bookcase... i shit you not... i see it... i put the light on... i see it again... i run to wake up my kids to come help catch the mouse... i get the broom... run back to the kids room and start yanking and pleading them to come help me... i rush back to my room....

***

--> jump on the bed...

***

-->broom above my head...

***

--->ready to whack the living daylights out of mr. mouse...

***

-->and it dawns on me...

***

...there is no mouse...

crayola love

2008-10-15T07:54:00.000+02:00

i once had a discussion with a good friend of mine, she's got 3 kids... holy terrors... so we were talking about our kids (as mommies do) and suddenly she asked me " so which one of your kids is your favourite?" ...

dear Lord i almost chocked on my lemon cream biscuit! a favourite?! does she have a favourite kid? i don't! and i proceeded to defend this point of view until all the cookies were finished... but all jokes aside... kids are different... their personalities, their temperaments... all that stuff does make you probably get on better with one child ... but do i love one of my boys any less? no way!... i would gladly jump in front of a train to save any one of them... without a second thought... but in real life sure i do get along with one kid better than the other one, during some stages of their lives... at the moment for instance i just have the desire to slap Kay every single time i see him... why? cause he's 13... need i say more? but do i love him? oh yes... he's my baby and will always be, and in a few years time i will probably get along better with him than with Jay... but do I love Jay more because we get along better now? no! is he my favourite? hell no!

this second part will make sense at the end of the post... so bear with me :

i was doing a project for Kay the other day on Tsunami's... yes i do his projects, just zip it... i have my reasons... one being that i just love doing them... and secondly i just get better marks than him... i know i know...sigh... anyway... so i was doing some research on the web on everything to do with tsunamis and it made me think back to when in December 2004 that horrific tsunami hit Indonesia... worldwide 225000 people died because of that tsunami... shocking... there was a SA woman who, with her family was there on holiday... she did a interview when she came back home... and to this day i just cannot forget her story...

she was with her two kids, single digit kids... probably could swim by themselves, but with a tsunami obviously they didn't stand a chance of survival... so she was with them when the tsunami struck... and she grabbed both, as any mother should... she was fighting to keep herself and her two kids alive... paddling with nothing to hold on to... and then... after keeping the 3 of them above water... all her energy was exhausted... and she decided that she had to let one of the kids go if she wanted to save herself and one of the kids... so now... which one do you let go of?...

i cried for days about that story... not because of the decision she had to make, but the fact that she actually chose one above the other... that she thought that letting go of her child was even an option... to me that is just unimaginable... personally i would rather drown with my two kids, holding on for dear life rather than to let go of one of them...

thankfully the child she let go of survived too... but imagine the fear of that child... he must have held on for dear life... and his mother probably pried his hands off of her...

she told this story to the reporter... another shocker... i am still shocked by her decision to choose in the first place, and then secondly she told the world she did this... certainly this child will be told of this too... sigh... i don't know... it just broke my heart... cause it's just not right... how could she?

so that's how i see my crayola love... it's all or nothing...I'm not letting go of one of my little crayons... ever...

should i care?

2008-10-14T08:13:00.000+02:00

thanks for all the compliments on my new look... i love it too, obviously... very minimalistic , simple yet bright...but being the Einstein that i am... i didn't copy my blogroll... before i changed over to the new look...so if you should be on my bloglist and you're not... please tell me... nothing personal ok? i know I'm missing a few and for the life of me i just can't remember who!!!

all of you have prolly heard enough about my new job / old job saga... well just one more small snippet i want to share with you... you ever get that "nafie" feeling at the precise second you resign from your job?... it's like changing gears... all of a sudden you're cruisin' for a bruisin'... "nafie" is that feeling that ummm how can i describe it to all you souties.. well basically you just don't give a flying fork anymore... yeah... that about sums it up... well I'm finishing up Friday... and the amount of work i have vs the amount of time i have left... off the scales... and here it is... check the worry in my eye! I've caught myself "filing" important documents accidentally into the wastebasket... i shit you not... my bin is looking fuller by the minute and although it's horrible that I'm doing this... again... check the worry in my eye... if my boss knew what i was up to she would fire my sweet ass on the spot... again... check the worry in my eye!... LOL... for all of you who had a hissy fit when i said I'm disposing of important docs in a random fashion... my boss just loves a paper trail... what i rate as not important she rates as a matter of life and death... so it's all relative after all... yes?...so... what else can i file today?

mission impossible

2008-10-13T08:29:00.002+02:00

my dear ex boss is on a mission...

I've got 5 working days left and she's revved up like a maniac to get everything done this week...

what all the "everything" is i have no idea... but yes, I'll be working like a dog...

was expecting this...

so no long post today... will tell you tomorrow about Jay's 9th birthday yesterday...

yes my baby is living his last single digit year before he breaks into the double digits...

freaky friday

2008-10-10T07:50:00.000+02:00

BULLSHIT!

now go say sorry and have a good weekend :)~

good vibrations

2008-10-09T08:02:00.007+02:00

so i haven't told you about this absolutely...

stunning
sexy
delicious
beautiful
hot
steaming
SINGLE

guy i met the other day... *goofy laugh*...

and what is so cosmically strange is that he works for the same company i will be starting at the 1st of November... he just has no idea what's coming his way does he?

*another goofy laugh*

so i guess spring has sprung then?

ellen

2008-10-08T07:37:00.005+02:00

Ellen DeGeneres- she's gay... we all know that, no surprises there... but i think she's such a cool chick... regardless... does that make me sound, what's that fancy word again... darn i can't remember... phobic something... but you know what i mean... but hey maybe that's just me! she's kind of pretty in a boyish way and i totally heart her... OK now I'm sounding distinctly lesbo myself but face it~ she's 50 years old people and she looks like this... pretty damn nice i say...

anyway i was thinking about Ellen and her stunning bride and then of course i inevitably start wondering about other things... like them having sex right?... but hey, again, maybe that's just me...

omg i would disgrace myself totally if i was a lesbo... firstly touching another woman's boobs i would giggle myself into another blood group... seriously guys make it look so easy (just kidding we know you blokes just cannot help yourselves) and thank God for that too... so me as a lesbian?~ just cannot imagine it! so sorry to smash any girl 2 girl action fantasies there... but me... giggling a hundred miles a minute while going for the gspot~ nah... just not gonna happen :)

that's another thing though~ pleasing a guy is just to damn easy in comparison... but imagine getting a woman there... figuring out the wiring to get to that sweet spot... well again, hats off to you boys for doing such an awesome job with it... thank goodness y'all are more technically inclined...

so yeah i think I'll stick to men... but Ellen... you're still cool babe, rock on :)

spanners everywhere

2008-10-07T07:32:00.000+02:00

this morning my boss dropped one huge mf bomb on my lap... she gave me a counter offer that i almost cannot refuse... a few thousand per month more than my new job!!! why is she doing this now? why am i worth more now all of a sudden... I'm almost pissed off about it... and then I'm flattered... sort of... and so on and so on... but i decided to not think about the money and still take the job i was offered at the other company... long term thinking sucks... i am such an adult eh? LOL... so there it is... i wasn't expecting this and i actually wish she never offered me more... I'm still due 2 weeks holiday before i leave, so my last working day will be next Friday... then i have another two weeks holiday before i start the new job... cool yes?

i thought so :)

age of loooooooove

2008-10-06T08:50:00.002+02:00

hello all you beautiful people... i had a fab week off... i blew thousands of rands that i didn't have... but oh my goodness... it was a blast :)

so back to the rat race!!! i watched an indecent amount of tv this week... late at night... i don't know what it is with me... when i have leave i go to bed really really late... anyway was watching this stupid program "the age of love" it's like the bachelor... have you seen the show? argh!!!! about 12 woman try to win the bachelor... am i the only one that think that is just crazy???? honestly... then again it really fascinates me in a really sick kind of way ~ cause both- the hot bachelor and the dozen stupid woman ... they should just take what's coming their way... the guy shongs and prolly gets a lot of desperate booty... really i would never EVER do this show... i would get evicted on the first day after slapping the bachelor silly (after crushing his balls that is) and telling him his mama would not approve... because he would try to get some action from me and then telling me that I'm just so super special (please) and 10 minutes later he's licking the tonsils of the next poor girl... see just crazy!!... and what i find really funny is that the girls just cannot keep their mouths shut about the action they get! and 12 horny/desperate/jealous woman living together fighting for the affection of one bloke... omg... that's just looking for trouble... and then random chicken number 7 who thinks she is the super special gal confronts him about this shenanigans of the night before with random chicken number 2... and poor bachelor is speechless and shocked out of his jockstrap... and then he coos in her ear and random chick number 7 then again thinks she's the one... so if they actually think that they will find true love... well good luck to them! i think I'll pass...

never say never...

2008-09-26T07:46:00.002+02:00

i was convinced i worked for a pretty decent boss... but after giving her my resignation yesterday she IMMEDIATELY told me that my 14 working days leave that i still have, she doesn't have the money to pay me for them...so before 1 November i will be on leave a lot... cause I'm sure as shit not taking that... do you feel sorry for her? don't... cause she actually does have money to pay me... but she just doesn't want to... she's stingy that way...behind my back she enquired from my colleague if in fact the one calender month notice i gave her was stated in my contract...

so here's a few things I've learnt...

if you want loyalty, buy a dog

nobody is ever indispensable

never think twice taking a better job, no love lost at all...

so there... it's a done deal... I've been told to take leave next week, knocking off the first 5 days off the 14 days... leaving me with another 9 days... *giggle*

so I'll probably won't be blogging next week... my kids are on holiday so I'll be spending my time watching movies and eating popcorn...

it's all good :)

hot dog hoochie

2008-09-25T07:37:00.004+02:00

we have a hot dog stand right around the corner from work... it's the only place to get something to eat in the near vicinity so obviously i have a lot of hot dogs... anyhoodle... i get to the stand the other day and there is a guy waiting for his order... he had to repeat his choice of sauces to the hot dog guy a few times, cause it wasn't the standard mustard and tomato sauce (like ketchup)... well let me just say i was amused... watching this whole episode... so while the hot dog guy is busy finishing the guy's order... he asks me what sauces do i want, so i say "mustard and tomato" while looking at this other guy (of course not thinking) and say...

I'm easy see?

whaahahahahahahhahhaa

shit, earth swallow me now...

and if that wasn't bad enough i winked at him while saying this...

ffs... i have no brains whatsoever...

heritage day

2008-09-24T08:00:00.000+02:00

today is a public holiday in South Africa... we're supposed to celebrate our heritage and according to wiki...

Heritage Day, September 24, is a Public Holiday on which South Africans across the spectrum are encouraged to celebrate their cultural heritage and the diversity of their beliefs and traditions, in the wider context of a nation that belongs to all its people....

quite cool i think... i will firstly be celebrating my Irish heritage by sleeping in and then wearing a Voortrekker kappie while having breakfast :)

i trust you as far as i can throw you...

2008-09-23T09:03:00.006+02:00

i was going through all my post drafts hoping to find something to post today... cause my nails are too long to type ... yeah that's the main reason why i didn't want to blog today... cycadellic* baby hehe... typing difficulty!!... i mean if a girl has to choose between typing and beautiful nails... gha... no contest... anyway reducing my typing speed... and here we go :)

i received the offer from the new employer, looking good! didn't blow me out of the water or anything but I'm satisfied, so now i still have to deal with resigning properly... my boss is in quite a polite and foul mood... what an odd combination yes? so not making it easy for me to break the news... and she's going to one of our most difficult client's this morning... so i didn't want to add to her bad mojo... so I'm leaving it for this afternoon or Thursday, cause tomorrow is a public holiday!!! heritage day... I'll have to google it and make sure what's happening tomorrow... i know... i know... very unpatriotic of me...

i never told you guys about my plumbing problems... hehe... so the pipes were installed... and of course literally blew off the first time i opened the water... so that was a bust... and of course trust Batman to come to my rescue... he fixed the pipes... i apologise for all the nasty things I've ever said about you Batman cause honestly you surprise me sometimes... before i go on with the sad story of the appliances, another batman tit bit... my car is now 3 years old and no longer under warranty, so i don't have to have it serviced for an arm and a leg at the manufacturer... so i asked batman, if i offer you X amount of money would you please service my car, totally expecting him to take the money and laugh his evil laugh... he said... ag please... i don't mind servicing your car sweets... no problem, no payment please!!... so another apology... i am so glad he's doing this, i can sure do with the saving! so a few feathers for your robin hood hat batman, I'm sure your new batgirl won't be liking this one bit... but hey it seems bearing you two healthy sons made quite an impact after all... hehe...

so the second time i used the washing machine i didn't secure the draining pipe... oh dear... i was actually standing in the kitchen reading something and didn't notice the waves of water under my feet... Jay was looking for something to eat and when he said... "what is going on here?" as if it was my fault... it was everywhere... oy... so basically i just don't trust those damn pipes... i check them for any leakage every 5 minutes while the machines are on... and then every other 2 minutes if the draining pipes are still in place... it's a horrible sad day when you loose your trust in your appliances i gotta tell you...

* the spelling of cycadellic is prolly wrong... in the spirit of heritage day... forgive me :)

doing the sweetass jive...

2008-09-22T07:48:00.003+02:00

jip

i got the job :)

i actually still can't believe it!!! but it's happening!!

better salary, medical aid and pension... AND it's quite a bonus that I'll enjoy what i'm going to do :)

now i have to resign... so looking forward to that... not!

my head is in overdrive so no post today...

:)~

freaky friday

2008-09-19T08:10:00.003+02:00

ok before i get down to Friday business i just want to thank all of you for your support with my job hunting... firstly i had no idea so many of you were in the same boat ... you have no idea how much it helped... it's been such a long time for me, jumping back into the job hunting business... i was really stressed out yesterday... but after some zzzz i feel like a new sweets :) i sent my cv through yesterday, got a reply immediately and will hopefully go for the interview next week... it's the perfect job... how strange that stuff just falls into place when it's the right time eh? yeah... awesome! ok have a groovy weekend, i promise to do my best to be as naughty as i can... LOL

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

ok this next piece... from this guys lips to God's ears man!! LOL :) thank God i haven't hit 40 yet (so sorry for those who have) but this applies actually to woman over 30 too... very interesting and entertaining read! and who knew... it's not so bad being the dark side of 40 after all... apparently the sky does indeed NOT fall on your head... :)~

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.

Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game , she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you in a public place. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal . For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

have a shamelessly good weekend ya'll :)~

edited in later in the day... omg! i sent my cv in yesterday and i'm going for the interview this afternoon at 1h30... *freaking out completely*...

now if i can just stop...

hyperventilating

get rid of this stress induced headache

and stop biting my nails...

i'll be just fine :)

greener pastures

2008-09-18T08:13:00.005+02:00

I'm officially job hunting!!!

I'm so excited!!!

and bloody scared all at the same time...

i like my comfort zone too much...

i need to cut those apron strings and then.. hell i hope a better job, that's what!

... I've done my CV for the first time in absolute years... which was surprising in itself... but then i couldn't get my damn head out of the gutter... sentences like these... in my CV... just kinda made me giggle...

"always putting the client’s satisfaction first..." mwhhhhhhhhhahahahahahaha...

so yes, I'm out there... it's very scary for me... there are so many "what if" scenarios running through my head... but i just have to do this... I've been with the same company and boss for a whopping 12 years straight... i feel like I'm betraying her for some reason... but then again~ maybe she should feel SHE'S betraying ME every time she pays my salary... ha... and that obviously doesn't bother her one bit...

wish me luck!

twilight years

2008-09-17T08:01:00.000+02:00

like I've said before, recently Kay has turned into a slightly different person... and apparently it's only going to get worse before it gets better... dear God help me!

he talks back to me every chance he gets... with a bloody attitude to match

i have to break up physical fights between the two boys on a daily basis

Kay accuses me of loving his brother more than him.... pleaaaaaaaase... are you feeling my pain yet?? *mom rolling eyes at this stage*

he thinks i am totally without a brain, he always knows better than me...

to name but a few...

so every chance i get, i like to show him who's the boss... i know i shouldn't... but for some reason i get SUCH a kick out of it to annoy him... but because he's 13 he has lost his sense of humor in the fog that is teenagedom (new word ok?!)... everywhere i look, everything i touch and everything i say... i am not cool... dare i say he's embarrassed? ha... well i don't take that lying down... so i have these little acts of love i like to bestow on his unsuspecting self when we're in a public place and i should rather keep my mouth shut and act as if i don't know him... cause that's what he wants... walking a few steps in front of me and all... to prove his point... so!

what i do is i say really loud... for maximum effect!

"looking good, good looking!" (in my American drawl no less)

"mom... stop it!" he hisses my way

"looking good, good looking!"

"STOP IT!!!! "
*stomp foot*
"STOP IT! :
"STOP IT!!!"
"STOP IT!!!!!!!!"

"looking good, good looking!"

i just can't stop myself... i mean honestly, if you're going to react to THAT like that, then you have to take what's coming... i am after not cool, so what did he expect??

oktoberfest pics...

2008-09-16T09:09:00.001+02:00

see that blog follower gadget on the right???

pretty please click and follow...

now dammit...

now :)

ok, done?

good!!

here's some pics of the Oktoberfest... it was a blast!! those Germans sure know how to party :) all i can say other than that is thank God there was no Jagermeisters on sale... Prost!

beers all around, Prost!

this is me with my oldest friend...

we've been friends for 27 years, i love her to bits :)

a friendly guy sitting behind me... i was trying to take a pic of the oompah band, funny!

robin hood type of little hats everybody was wearing, they were all sold out by the time i got there dammit...

until next September then! Auf wederzein...hic... :)

dirty addictions...

2008-09-15T07:47:00.000+02:00

they're not really dirty... but thinking of a proper witty title can be quite tiresome, no?

on to my addictions... somebody tagged me on this, i apologise, for the life of me i cannot remember who...

ER... everybody is so hooked on Grey's Anatomy, and although i enjoy Grey's too they just are not in the same league as ER... ER is now on their 14th season and I never miss an episode, this is really an excellent captivating series, with blood and gore and a kick ass story line... when i thought about ER i wondered if anybody out there ever watched St. Elsewhere?... my goodness I'm showing my age now... but that was another classic.

biltong... njammas... i absolutely am hooked on chilly biltong stix at the moment... biltong is apparently similar to beef jerky but what I've read on jerky is that the meat is marinated and then oven dried... well here in south africa we of course do things differently, the raw meat is seasoned with salt and coriander and such... and then it's air dried, you can buy it ready made at the butcher or make your own... it's just the nicest thing ever, proudly south african ;) chilli stix are smaller cut pieces, and obviously flavoured with chilli...

smoking... alas I've not kicked this habit, and i doubt if i ever will... but I'm down to 8 cigarettes a day, for about 2 months now? and it works, i want to go down to 5 a day and when i achieve that well then I'll smoke 5 ciggies a day till i push up daisies...

dstv... (digital satellite tv) I've recently acquired this wonderful service (huge thanks to Glugs for giving me his old decoder)... i don't have the dstv premium, that's too expensive for my budget, i have the compact version with a lesser amount of channels, but i have to tell you that tv can be very time consuming so I'm quite relieved that i don't have such a big variety... i love tv... it's not a good thing... but there it is... no wonder dstv's catch phrase is ... so much more... yeah it really is so much more LOL

kids... don't want to sound corny like Slyde LOL but hey any parent will tell you that kids can be quite addictive... they are very lively, sassy little people and they are mine... so for now i love them every day and enjoy them as much as i can ~cause i know it's just a question of time before they fall flat on their faces while trying to escape my uncool household :)

finally it's freakin' friday :)~

2008-09-12T08:14:00.004+02:00

this is why we don't speak dutch in south africa...

certain words the dutch use as normal ordinary words means totally different things here in SA... this newspaper clipping from a dutch paper just proves that point...

translation:

poes = oer... nasty word that's used by very common people, poes is a really ugly word that refers to female genitalia in a extremely derogative way... if you call someone a poes you should really expect to be knocked to the ground with immediate effect... and then kicked some...

doos... another nasty word but more commonly used... generally means "idiot"... example: i felt like such a doos... or you are such a doos!

in english the caption reads:

Scared cat found in box...

hey hey it's Friday! hope you have a great one, I'll be off to the Oktoberfest tonight... drinking yucky german beer and screaming prost every 5 minutes... should be fun, it always is :)

auf wederzein en al daai lekker dinge!

why some animals eat their young

2008-09-11T08:22:00.002+02:00

according to Kay i am SO lame ...

*pffftt... check the worry in my eye!!*

the other day i was talking to him about something and I innocently replied to something he said with...

"that's cool!"...

his reply?

"please don't say COOL again mom... seriously..."

*rolling eye action*

13 is straight out of hell...

true's bob

2008-09-10T07:50:00.003+02:00

you know each of us have their own tastes... some like pink glitter boots... some like to eat sushi... some like boerewors... or running around naked outside in the garden...

different strokes for different folks...

so what i find sexy or attractive in men, somebody else will say... "my word Sweets have you gone off your rocker?"...

well here is my secret...

i think these guys are smokin' hot...

(unfortunately they are quite camera shy so i couldn't get any nice images anywhere...)

no lies...

i hope I'm not offending anybody but eish... it must be those prayer shawls or something :)

(don't leave nasty comments with regards to orthodox Jews please, this is just my weird thoughts and the Jews are not to blame for the effect they have on me)

snow white

2008-09-09T10:29:00.008+02:00

i'm done feeling sorry for myself... so here's a new post to change all of the sorry for myself saga's of late :)

see i'm smiling even!!!

i am addicted to many things... alas... but the one good, healthy thing that i'm totally addicted to is apples...

big

juicy

sweet

red apples

i eat on average 3 apples a day... that's an conservative average... so if i started eating apples when i was 5 years old...i have consumed a whopping 31 248 apples in my life...

how do you like them apples?!?

(i have a new link ,top right ~

please go click and help Ivy)

strangely detached

2008-09-09T07:44:00.002+02:00

the other day someone told me... or did i read it on a blog? anyway... they said they felt detached... and i didn't get what they were saying... at all... and today... well let me just say "detached" makes so much sense to me today... am i having an out of body experience? no... sadly not... am i actually living somebody else's life?... sure as shit feels like that sometimes... maybe it's the move... i just can't seem to get my groove back man!!! anybody who has seen the emperor's new groove? well i feel very unemperor-Llama-like today... and that bloody groove is just nofuckingwhere to be found...

i have to go back in my archives and read that damn silly post i wrote a while back about skipping into the sunset looking for a silly bloody elephant to kiss... (yes mock me now) cause when oh when will i ever feel like that again?...i know... probably tomorrow :)

i want to feel like kissing some strange elephant again!

i do, i really do... but sadly... my biorhythms are out of sync or something close to that...

i know

i have so much to be grateful for, but i feel like having a teeny wheeny whiny little pity party... i may not have a jealous bone in my body but pity??? at that i excel... again... here is the perfect chanse to mock me silly... and because i'm so strangely detached it wouldn't even bother me!

if i have to analyze this detached feeling it has all got to do with money... yes... i have a lack of money, everybody has, i know... and when i look at my budget, including what batman gives me... i really shouldn't have a problem... but hey i do... money is like water... and i'm in the fucking dessert... mirages are appearing and disappearing at random...

shit

i have to get over myself...

sigh

bye for now... *imagine puppy face slash 2 year old crocodile teary face*

see!

i so have to get over it...

don't worry

i'm probably already over it... just have to check with the detached person i call Sweets :)~

my landlord

2008-09-05T11:11:00.007+02:00

he's slowly but surely starting to piss me off... actually, come to think of it... I've been slightly irritated with him since day one... he has this subtle attitude of ..."i am doing you such a favour"... i'm sorry?! am i not the one who's PAYING you to live in your fixed asset (saffas have you seen that tv ad, hilarious)...

what i bring to the party, the short and sweet version:

rent money that I pay into his bank account TWO weeks before the due date, so he's scoring slightly no?

i never pay late

i could list a load of other trivial stuff, but obviously i won't, cause ka-ching... that's what it's all about, not?

what he must bring to the party:

pay my deposit into an interest bearing account until i give notice, in whatever years... this is not my bright idea ...it's LAW! today I emailed him, requesting feedback of what was done to my deposit paid to him three months ago... his answer... he's still thinking about it! (come to think of it this is the second time I've mentioned it in a email to him, the other time he just ignored me)

for fucks sakes...

oh and jump when i say jump... but i'll forget about this one if he just pays my deposit into that interest bearing account!!

is this too much to ask?

did i do my part?

hell yes!

is he playing by the rules?

hell no!

stupid wanker... and what irritates me even more is that I'm just sucking it up!!!

who stole my spine???? why am i being such a passive aggressive?

every time i just don't expect him to be such an ass... I'm quite clueless at to what i should do, do i make a scene, force him? then our "relationship" is forever tainted with this incident... do i give him another month and then put on the pressure? it all is so simple... why he doesn't play by the rules i really don't understand... i don't like complications landlord... surely this is not too much to ask... if you don't comply i'll have to start doing what landlords absolutely hate...

put out my cigarettes on your carpet... (did i just say that?!)

friday funnies :)

2008-09-05T07:57:00.001+02:00

have a great one :)

i want a tool belt!

2008-09-04T08:00:00.000+02:00

such

rock star!!!

ok not really, i just amazed myself a teensy weensy little bit yesterday... but before i tell you about yesterday, please take note of the following... after and during the move there is loads of handyman stuff to do... so if you haven't noticed... i haven't got one of those hanging around anymore... you know the human equivalent of bob the builder... i really could have done with bob around during the weekend... but boohoo i didn't... so i got over it... and i did it myself...

oh yes!

*patting self on back*

i now can add to my repertoire... not only can i change a light bulb... but i can now use a freaking allan key people... ain't that impressive? i thought so... you? probably not so much.. but trust me... i am an expert with one tool only (wink wink)... so on Sunday i dissembled my bed! i am still amazed i got it right... AND got it back together... the right way nogal! then there is the kids bunk beds... yes i did those too...

and i put up blinds!

am i the only one that's getting a kick out of this????

but last night... well i was a little bit overwhelmed... so

*bright idea*

Kay sweety! get your testosterone pulsing bod over here and give your mama a hand to install the washing machine and the dishwasher...

and that's what we did...

ok tiny bit of exaggerating here...

i did what i do best...

i told him what to do...

only kidding, i don't do child labor... we did this thing together, washers and pipes and stuff... *imagine screams and tears and plumbing goodies flying all over the kitchen...*

we even applied plumbing tape! i know, how impressive is that!!! you see i took notes way back when when Batman used to do these things...

so voila!!! appliances installed...

now i just need to muster up enough courage to switch them on...

it's a bloomin miracle!

2008-09-03T08:14:00.000+02:00

ok sweet famous blondy asked me about my miracle zit cure i mentioned last week... and i promised her some info...

so if you have no interest in zits...

gross i know!...

well then... see you tomorrow ;)

first some background... i also mentioned Ruacutane meds i used when i was in high school... it's very potent medicine... probably schedule 6 or 7... when girls go on this medication, they are forced to go on the pill, and after use of Ruacutane are NOT allowed to get pregnant for about 4 years... hectic meds? hell yes! if you get pregnant the fetus will be severely deformed... so anyway... there it is, these meds make you peel something awful, flake, your nose bleeds daily cause you just~ well dry up... you are severely sensitive to sun... and your lips... well you can just imagine... BUT if you can live with these symptoms for a while... cause face it, acute acne is just as bad, if not worse... acne just disappears... soos mis voor die son... i went on a severe 3 months course... and it literally changed my life, so did two of my siblings... and trust me when i tell you i had bad acne... shit i even scared myself when i looked in the mirror... so i would really recommend anybody to use it, who has severe acne of course, if it doesn't work the first time, try again... cause it's so worth it!

but my natural remedy is as follows...

Kay is now 13 and he's been getting spots for about 6 months now... it's not really that bad yet, but trust me, bad enough... no fun walking around with zits all over your face EVER... so... by accident I was packing away some of my toiletries for the move... and I took my bottle of lavender oil and read the directions on the back... anything to stall the packing ya see... INNOCENTLY they mention that it can help acne... so i thought... oxy isn't doing anything for this poor kid... lemme try this... i diligently put the lavender oil on his face every night... he smelled very sexy... actually i put it on one morning.... and my poor boy was smelling as if a lavender bush was ready to sprout out his ear, the whole day at school!... hehe... i won't do that again!... so, i put it on for a about a week, and the result is quite astonishing... without getting into much more detail... he had almost a coarse layer on his forehead... loads of little zit like stuff... anyway, it's gone... i also put on tea tree oil to help with infections with the bigger buddies... and between the lavender and the tea tree... it's quite ridiculous the amazing success I've had... so there... cool isn't it??

just call me the zit terminator :)

it's a lie!

2008-09-02T08:03:00.005+02:00

so it's the 2nd of September today... officially spring... i mean look at the budding trees everywhere!! but i know it's like freezing... and then at noon it's freakin boiling... so i know, it's cold, but it's getting there!

ok the move:

oy... i HATE moving...

i hate it

i hate it

i hate it

i really do

some stupid wanker somewhere (statistically speaking) once said that death, divorce and moving house have the same level of stress associated to each...

excuse me?

that's so not true...

sure moving suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks...

but it's over so quick, it's like childbirth, after a week you can't remember the pain...

but divorce takes a loooooooooooong time, so honestly don't compare moving house and divorce, it's like comparing a horse with a poodle... just not the same thing...

my little flat is perfect, it's safe, in a security estate... i'm truly loving it, wasn't expecting that :)

all the boxes are unpacked, i was like a woman possessed, just wanted everything to be sorted... so by the weekend, everything will be in it's place again... i know... get a life~! haha... well i'm totally anal when it comes to boxes standing around...

then...

i want to give special thanks today!

glugs and angel are the best... truly, these two bloggers, whose become really special friends to me blessed me out of my socks on Sunday... they arranged for two cleaning ladies to come clean the place i was moving out of... and if it wasn't for them... i dunno... i would still be cleaning that darn place now... awesome guys, thanks a million, you really do not have a clue how much it means to me, i'm humbled by your generosity... so thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks!!!

ok that's my news, now to catch up on my workload... argh... is it Monday today? Tuesday? Sunday?

oh yeeeeeeeeeeeees

2008-09-01T08:00:00.002+02:00

no ...

I'm not having an online orgasm...

it's Spring Day people!!!!

yeah yeah yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

*doing the sweetass jive*

oh my goodness... I'm soooooooooo happy!!! can you tell? hehe... anyway... we didn't really have winter at all, so i shouldn't complain but wearing socks 24/7 is not my idea of fun...

so sorry for you guys up in the northern hemisphere.... but summer has officially arrived and fired your tanned asses ... look forward to hot chocolate and falling leaves cause we have had our share, thank you, thank you very much...

other nauseating news... I'm officially on a late spring diet... argh... i hate dieting... I'm not good at all at eating less, i could never see the point... so my diet is actually more exercise... and I'm so unfit it's just simply ridiculous... why ever get out of shape in the first place! sheesh... THAT pic gave me such a scare... i won't be eating cake EVER AGAIN!!

anyway... I'm on leave today (this is a scheduled post)... I'm unpacking, the move was yesterday, will tell you all about it tomorrow... so think of me while i try to make home just that once more :)

don't be coy biatch!

2008-08-29T07:46:00.000+02:00

that is what i would love to say to my boss ~ just once...

and while I was typing that sentance, the bitch herself ~all of a sudden~ was standing RIGHT BEHIND ME...

minimize!!

minimize!!!!!

MINIMIZE!!!!!

and when i have adrenalin pumping through my veins i have

very

slow reflexes...

shit... oops

bliksem

well she didn't notice anything... and then she told me the funniest joke... i laughed like i haven't laughed in a long time...

and now i feel guilty calling her a coy biatch... who's the biatch noooooooooooow?

have a groovy weekend ya'll :)

if you insist...

2008-08-28T08:00:00.001+02:00

so all the guys want naked pics?...

... so who am i to not give into a dare right?

so here i am...

for your viewing pleasure boys...

why are you so shocked?

:)

scrolling...

scrolling....

whahhhhhhhhhahahahahahaha

I'm sorry...

did you actually think i was going to put naked pics of myself on my blog?...

hmmm... lemme think...

not happening here!

will have to consume large amounts of alcohol to prompt me to do that....

litres and litres of bad red wine... and last time i checked i don't even drink red wine, apparently it's an acquired taste and i have certainly not acquired it, I'm more of a klippies and coke girl (brandy with coke)... i know i know... so middle class... can you guys honestly tell me red wine is good? i can only remember one night when i truly enjoyed drinking red wine ... but i would actually like to "get" the red wine phenomenon... cause i think I'm totally missing out on something... what to do.... what to do.... i will have to look for a willing red wine drinking instructor... ;)

so sorry again about the naked pics... :)~

supermom cape for sale

2008-08-27T08:00:00.000+02:00

objectivity is such an awesome thing... in afrikaans it's called perspektief, i think its slightly different from objectivity but flip I'm too tired to go look for a better word, so objective it is... deal with it...

i won't give you the whole spiel about the appointment we had with Kay's psychologist... but he is such a sweetheart...i know... damn that wedding ring!!! LOL he truly gave a very honest opinion about Kay and it made so much sense... he filled in the missing puzzle pieces... so I'm hugely relieved... my son is way better... it's a fucking miracle i tell you... and the best of all, batman paid for everything... hehe... no, I'm really grateful it turned out to be such a short process, I'm so thankful I was referred to this shrink, he worked miracles... now Jay has to go... har har... and he refuses to... i know! honestly that little guy has the attitude of a WWE fighter... and the temper to boot... so I'll just have to cuff him and carry him over my shoulder... cause he's going, that's a fact...

i had a mini breakdown on Sunday... i just want to die of embarrassment if i think about it... ag it wasn't so bad... i just had a huge moment where EVERYTHING was just too fucking much... after almost 3 years i sometimes still get overwhelmed... shit this is not what i signed up for... but hey, tomorrow is another day... I was talking to my Dad of all people, he doesn't do tears you see... and the next moment... booooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo.... and he's like... it's OK... honestly, go get a tissue!!! hehe but what was the worst was that i couldn't stop crying... I'm not a very loud cryer, OK occasionally when my heart is ripped out of my ribcage i can really let it rip... but it was actually pitiful... the tears kept on billowing down my cheeks... and I'm telling myself... get a grip... stop it this instant!... and that made me cry even harder... the tears just rolled... and i wish i was at home so i could just get it out... cause obviously I've been suppressing all this shit so much that at that breaking point, i just snapped... anyway... i stopped... eventually... and then i had lunch with my sunglasses on :)

I'm feeling much better, nothing major... so no need to worry, promise! but I've been going through "something", hell i don't know what... maybe it's the move, maybe it;'s Kay's exams... but maybe things just got a bit much, and that's certainly OK with me... honestly i can't be superwoman permanently, somebody want the cape??

so I'm taking a step back... and taking a deep breath... and clearing my mind of all the worries and the responsibilities for a second... and starting again... met 'n bietjie nuwe perspektief :)

how boring can one blog be...

2008-08-26T08:14:00.001+02:00

yes... I've fallen into the trap... my blog is sooooooooo boring these days...boring boring boring...

my life seems boring...

my work seems boring...

i seem boring ffs...

... I've found a lot of the blogs i read are complaining about the same thing... alas no embarrassing moments to tell... and no chirpy news to splatter all over my once enjoyable blog...

so...

i either have to tell you about my miracle cure for zits I've discovered for Kay... my poor testosterone erupting teenager... I'm on the verge of getting him some Reacutane... now THAT is a miracle drug if I've even come across one... or tell you about my broken nails (from packing... moving house in zero minus 6 days)... OR maybe i should start posting naked pics... that is sure to get a few hits...

sigh

just saying

2008-08-25T08:18:00.005+02:00

what i found quite interesting about my chivalry post last week was that most guys defended the fact that they thought chivalry was still alive... although the basic concept of pulling out a chair or opening a door for a woman in my books certainly does not equal chivalry... although... sure it does help, so well done to the boys who still do this... i am no feminist and i love guys doing this...

but...

here is the things i think is dead, this is what i mourn the loss of... here are some snippets i've taken out of the code of chivalry...

exhibit self discipline (not so easy...)

show respect (this goes beyond saying "yes mam"...)

protect the innocent (true?)

respect woman (...yeah well what can I say?)

exhibit courage in word and deed (this I totally respect)

avenge the wronged (oh yes baby)

defend the weak and innocent (again, this got lost people...)

fight with honor (hell yes this is dead)

never abandon a friend, ally or noble cause (sigh)

always keep one's word (*splutter*)

always maintain one's principles (get it?)

never betray a confidence (this one i put in bold on purpose)

avoid deception (just avoid?... just don't go there sugar)

respect life (hmmmm)

be polite and attentive (yes please)

exhibit manners (well done, some still have this ~ agreed)

never attack from behind (no comment)

avoid cheating (like in don't cheat boys)

avoid torture (torture of the soul that is)

now these qualities are as old as Robin Hood himself, and for most metro men these qualities does not mean much... and granted... this is a tall order... but man oh man those who have these qualities... well that's just quite remarkable that's all... so yes, by all means pull out my chair, open the door for me... like i said, i'm no feminist... but how about being a knight in shining armour...in the 21st century...

now that... would take some doing :)~

yeah yeah it's friday!

2008-08-22T08:04:00.001+02:00

have a good one... weekend...

i meant weekend... :)~

the age of arrogance

2008-08-21T08:09:00.004+02:00

nobody will know what i mean to say with this post... i find myself vulnerable so I'll rather keep this secret to myself... i never expected to feel like this again and find myself disillusioned and disappointed... dejavu?

you know that saying "actions speaks louder than words..." such a true thing that... what i find so interesting is the fact that certain people place themselves superior to others in many ways~ but their actions screams out their lack of integrity and their total arrogance...

whatever happened to chivalry?

when did it die and who let it?

kielie my pienk!

2008-08-20T08:00:00.002+02:00

I'm on the mailing list for one of the local online book distributors, once a week i get an email with all sorts of books on sale... usually it's books for kids, crafty stuff and jewelry on sale... well *goofy laugh*... not this week... above mentioned header "kielie-my-pienk" should have warned me... it translates to something like ... hmmm... tickle me silly... or directly to ~tickle me pink~... i know! i wasn't expecting that...! LOL... this week it's all about sex... and the short reviews/descriptions of the books well... amused me to no end... and it seems they have sex toys available too... who knew Kalahari.net was so kinky?!

The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure The First Complete, No-Nonsense Guide To Orally Pleasuring A Man - Frank, Fresh, Fun! Learn the basics about his pleasure spots and how they like to be touched, how to talk to your partner about fellatio, and how the male sexual cycle works...

excuse me.. the male sexual cycle???

The Little Book of Minge Topiary:This little book tells you everything you need to know about creating your own shaven haven but were too afraid to ask. So go on, wax to the max....

mwhhhhhhhhhhahahahah... shaven haven ?!?!! *oh oh i can't stop laughing*

The Low Down on Going Down: How to Give Her Mind-Blowing Oral Sex It's nothing to be ashamed of. When it comes to performing oral sex, most people fall somewhere between fumbling and clueless. But now, in The Lowdown on Going Down you'll find practical, easy-to-master techniques that will give you the confidence and skills you need to become an expert in the delicate art of cunnilingus...

well i have to admit i didn't know that cunnilingus was an actual word... well it is, a very descriptive word at that... i googled it of course and was shocked even further by the fact that wikipedia has quite a bit of information on the subject... why do i find this so odd??

i kept thinking that the people that wrote the reviews... they must have had a very very fun time doing that... laughing their silly pink behinds off no less...

well i won't be opening any of these emails again so eagerly for the whole office to take notice of... see that pic with the streamers? well i called over my colleague... and we pretty much looked exactly like that discussing the various toys for sale :) what can i say? we apparently amuse easily...

aloha :)

2008-08-19T08:46:00.004+02:00

that's what i need... an island vacation... it's that time of year again, I'm slightly... hmmm rather hugely burned out... overworked, underpaid... blah blah blah... i hit rock bottom this morning when i filled my car up, R529 for a tank of petrol! I'm still in shock... well, i need a long long holiday... to escape being an adult for about a month... to have no worries and no responsibilities... imagine if the only responsibilities you had was to make sure that you cover yourself in suntan lotion and to keep the waiter on his toes with supplying you with endless g&t's... but.... I've got to wait another bloody 5 months... in those five months i will work my sweet little ass into a standstill, move house, settle in, write exams with Kay... and hopefully save enough money to enjoy my December~fun~in~the~sun~holiday :)

*thinking positive thoughts*

~failing miserably~

if you don't like the word fuck, well move on...

2008-08-18T07:52:00.005+02:00

as you all know ~ i hate Mondays... but this particular Monday, well let's just say i haven't felt like this in quite some time... and it all began with my tonsils... let me take you back...

i had a headache Saturday night and took some aspirin... and the damn aspirin just wouldn't go down, felt like it held onto my damn tonsils for dear life... anyway... so in that moment of weakness i phoned my kids... that there act of motherly love i just should not have done... easy as that... i chat to Kay, he passes the phone to Jay... mommy I'm cold he says... well sweetheart i know we're not the richest people around but hell you've got warm clothes, go put them on! i can't mommy... why (the fuck!) not sweety???? well the brat is sleeping in our room and... sweety just give the phone to your (fucking) daddy ok? love you...

batman: yeah?

me: what the fuck??

batman: huh?

me: why can't he put on warm clothes??? surely the (fucking) brat won't wake up if somebody tiptoes into the room so that MY kid can get some warm clothes?

batman: (at this stage he's fuming for some reason, maybe it's because he doesn't like me of all people to tell him what to do)... i told jay to get warm clothes earlier, but he didn't, so now it's too late, end of story...

me: are you drunk? you do sound drunk batman... are you actually smashed while in care of my kids??

batman: I'm not drunk! I'm not! these fucking kids.... ~click~ puts the phone down....

at this stage i felt horrible... i was the reason that they were at that moment getting screamed at by their father... because i pissed him off... i felt horrible...

event number two: yesterday morning Kay phones me, mom i fainted on Saturday night... excuse me baby WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY???? i fainted mom! i honest to goodness fainted! (strangely excited about this)... and nobody thought to phone me?? fuck

event number three: after lunch on Sunday i get an sms (text) from batman... Kay is not feeling well, he's been sleeping the whole day... wtf??? and you only let me know this now???? an hour later he's there to drop them off... Kay is on fire... he's fever was 39.7... i nearly had a fit... it took 3 hours for me to break the fever...

but before asshole batman gets to leave i have a little word with him outside:

me:so you were drunk on Saturday? i told you i don't want you drinking while the kids are there! batman: i can drink as much as i like woman...

me: no you can't fucktard!

batman: i don't want to talk about this anymore...

me: excuse me?

batman: just let it be...

me: no i won't!

*reverses his car*

me screaming: HOW OLD ARE YOU BATMAN, SERIOUSLY YOU ARE SUCH A CHILD... (how ironic is that i know!)

*tyres screeches around the corner*... well he didn't take that well... and no i don't live in a trailer park...

other tit bits i picked up from the kids after they were dropped off that pissed me off even further...

batman wants to sell Kay's pit bike, it's not his to sell!!
batman and bat girl wants the kids to go over to their place, yes they're officially shagging up now, next weekend (my weekend) cause the bat family, her family will be visiting... I'm sorry, this is my problem how??

will somebody just please hold him down so that i can bloody well... i typed and deleted quite a few interesting things to do to him ...

so basically I'm getting tired of being the one who keeps my mouth shut to have peace... cause he seems to get away with everything! but i don't know if it's worth it... to have constant shouting and near murderous scenarios around the kids is not the right thing... so i just needed to vent a bit... hopefully i feel better soon....and stop acting like a child myself... cause the person i was this weekend, well i don't like to be her, i don't know what happened to me... and i'll just have to stop this shit... *sigh*

wacky friday fun :)

2008-08-15T08:07:00.002+02:00

I think I should buy Angel and Glugs a bed like this :)

how is this for a fashion statement?!

this is actually quite a cool gadget!

mwhahahahhha!!!

party favours :)

2008-08-14T08:26:00.002+02:00

so you all laughed your asses of at me yesterday?! ha! it was such a weird thing for me to do, if you told me a year ago i would put a 3 minute vlog of myself on the net i would have laughed my ass off at you! and i know it's arse... not ass... but i love to say ass and not arse... arse sounds so stuck up you have to admit... so thanks for all your hilarious comments... i giggled like a school girl with each one :)

i love to laugh... i really do... and I've grown up in a household where a little joke every two minutes was kind of expected... so i got with the program... so my question to you today is... what stuff can you do that makes other's laugh other than the jokes i mean, stuff you do with your face or your body that is just so freaky people just have to laugh...

i have this wacky thing i do with my lip... if my teeth are dry... i know such a random odd thing... everybody gets a dry tooth every now and again hehe... i pull my top lip to the inside... and then i basically have no top lip... this totally freaks my kids out... and i just laugh my ass of every time i do this... i always do it in a very serious conversation too... they kind of don't appreciate it for some reason... mwhahahahahahahha

jay has a special talent too... he can flip his eyelids.... so gross!!! but so funny... kay's talent is that he can twist his tongue... really difficult... it provides endless hours of laughter because i just can't flippen well get mine to twist! oh and i can move my ears... and i can almost touch my nose with my tongue... and you see that picture with the woman with the really big lips? i can do that too!!! LOL you flip your bottom lip out and you stick out your tongue and kind of twist it up... so much fun to try to kiss an unsuspecting person with those lips..... *shriek! run for the hills!*

at Christmas time... when my whole family is sitting around the table... we sometimes do our tricks... it's such a special day after all :)

so what's your poison??

why oh why did i do this?

2008-08-13T08:44:00.005+02:00

yes... i did it... i must have been drunk... but i wasn't... sleepy jane did a vlog recently, she's actually done two so far... great balls of fire... good on you girlfriend... you're gutsy as hell :)honestly if i ever had any ideas of becoming a movie star or a TV presenter... well let's just say... i won't be leaving my day job any time soon to venture into that! OK here's shortly what I've learnt about doing a video blog thingy... oy

it's probably not a good idea to NOT wear make up if you want to record yourself

it's such a stupid idea not to have thought to do something with your hair, like hmmm let me think... make yourself look presentable?

it's probably not a good idea to do this recording late at night

it's probably not a good idea to do the recording in your flannel pj's...

i won't get any awards for taping this cause i suck at it...

it's probably not such a good idea to have half my head cut off in the recording
i was wearing my tiara for the occasion... and well... you can't see it cause half my head is cut off!

this is as good as it's going to get... cause i'm sure as shit not doing this again :)
so without any further ado... here i am... sweets in flannels :)

awesome

2008-08-12T08:15:00.004+02:00

Death twitches my ear.

"Live," he says...

"I am coming."

~ Virgil (Publius Vergilius Maro)

oh my greatness... am i the only one that got goosies after reading that quote? I'm quite a quote fanatic... like songs~ quotes does things to my soul... anyway... I'm off to a ladies brunch... a corporate event... so I'm wearing my power suit and my high heels... the entertainment for this morning? Nataniel... can't wait!... you either love or hate him...personally think he's a genius... OK I'm off...

go read that quote again!!!

makes you think all the "ride it like it's stolen thoughts" doesn't it?

monday blues

2008-08-11T08:15:00.009+02:00

argh... Monday... seriously needs to be scrapped but i guess nobody has the energy to do that either...

anyhoodle...

weekend... very relaxed... spent in a very dirty house... the damn place is being painted and the painter, let me just say has no brains whatsoever... everything i mean everything is covered in a thick disgusting layer of dust... and he broke a glass vase of mine, there were two but he broke the real pretty one and left me with the ugly one... i mean honestly... so I've decided not to touch a thing until they finish tomorrow... to say that i was pissed on Friday when i walked in my house... a tiny bit of an understatement...

then on Sunday i met batman's new shag... please note that I'm really trying to be nice... so I'll just keep my mouth shut and wipe the vomit from the corners of my mouth... even Kay mentioned that I was quite rude... oops... i honestly don't know what got over me... it was just so fucking awkward and ag whatever... it happened... my kids noticed... sigh... i guess i can't like them all can I!?? (edited in: when i read asylum's comment i thought i should add this: it doesn't help that the new shag is an old shag batman had an affair with while we were married... flaunting it now somehow just got to me... I'm human after all it seems... so the new shags i can pretty much handle but the old one's... not so much)

hmmm other than that not much news... except... you don't like my header???

gasp!!!

I'm not crazy about it either... but nothing has grabbed me so far to fall in love with... and I'm tired of the old header... so Greg... hint hint :) so this will have to do until i get inspired... don't hold your breath sheebs... you don't like my fishies??!! oy... ok i changed it back to something else... for now...

you guys have a fantabulous week... i sure as shit hope i do, i got to stay positive :)

seriously fucked up

2008-08-08T08:08:00.001+02:00

mwhahahahahahahaha i think my sense of humor needs some serious tweaking... funny stuff this joke non the less... it's like my legendary Mary-Lou joke... after you've laughed your ass off you realise... shit it would not be considered "polite" to laugh at this joke... ok before the joke...

today is the 8th day of the 8th month of 2008, and on my clock it's now 8 minutes past 8... how cool is that?!

have a good weekend ya'll!

There are four blokes in a prison cell together: a zoophile, a sadist, a necrophiliac and an gay guy.

The zoophile sighs and says, "You know, if there was a cat here I'd fuck it til I pass out."

The sadist nods, and sighs, "And once you were done with it, i'd torture it until it died."

The necrophiliac leans in and agrees, "Oh yeah, and once it was dead I'd fuck it til I passed out too."

"The gay guy, sitting in the corner, very softly says "miaow"...

the abyss

2008-08-07T07:59:00.005+02:00

OK I'm all serious today :)

a few weeks ago an old friend of mine committed suicide, she was 33, had three babies under 6 and one day she just jumped off a bridge onto the highway... nogal on her birthday...

I'm still shocked... shocked and numb... and for some reason i just can't get her out of my head... it makes no sense to me at all... at what point is jumping off a bridge easy? what does that solve? how selfish is that to take your own life and leave your family behind? in what state of mind do you have to be to not think of your three kids, your husband, your family that's on their way to celebrate your birthday... and just get on the railing and jump...

it's truly horrific and i just don't get it... and for that I'm sorry... I'm sorry that i didn't see the signs, sorry i didn't see the desperation... sorry all i could think was condescending irritable thoughts...

her suicide really shook me cause i knew what a kind person she was and doing something that horrific just wasn't who she was... i just don't understand... since her death I've desperately tried to understand, I've talked to my mom at length about it, she gave me a book to read about depression... and i admit i understand a little bit better now... but i still struggle... it's so foreign to me... sure i get down in the dumps, i've been through some horrible stuff in my life that when i look back now i thank God that somehow i got through it, without thinking that taking my own life was an option... and for that i'm thankful, but it seems sort of hollow to me now, unfair that i'm safe... i can't imagine that someone could take their life just because they thought it's the only way out...

i have another friend who suffers from depression, on and off her meds, and if i don't hear from her i know... she's stepped into the abyss... she doesn't want to talk to me when she's depressed... which is quite understandable... feeling like that am I'm like... sweety get your ass in gear, honestly, life is never that bad!... just not the type of thing you want to hear i guess... so there's no point really to my post, just a bit of a wake up call for me... that my reality is not my neighbours... that depression is indeed a reality ... so I'll try my best to be a better friend, to not judge, to not want to fix everything, to be there and to try to understand this beast called depression that pulls so many into it's belly and just won't let go...

peace out

bucket list

2008-08-06T08:45:00.002+02:00

have you seen the movie The bucket list? it's an excellent movie... really loved it... cried like a baby... but who wouldn't right?... anyway! onto my own bucket list...

i think everyone should have a list like this... so if you don't have one, make one today, or start making one, i think it's a work in progress... one thing that I've always wanted to do before i push up daisies was to bungee jump, and hell yes i did that, and even if it was the worst experience of my life, I'm still glad i did it, it's a goal that i set myself, not a very difficult one, i know, but for me, because of whatever, that was one of my goals... and there you go... i did it, so here is the rest of my bucket list...if you haven't seen the movie... it's a list of things you want to do before you kick the proverbial bucket ;)

in no particular order!

go to Wimbledon.
visit the Greek Isles then proceed to...

shag a sexy Greek dude on one of those fishing boats.. :)

stand on top of a pyramid

run a half marathon

learn to pole dance

ride a stallion on a beach, a real horse you perverts...

go on a road trip all by myself

see both my boys graduate from university... (sigh the mother in me so want this so badly, in my dreams Kay is the rocket scientist and Jay is the doctor *sigh*)

hike up Table mountain, i know i should probably aim higher right? Kilimanjaro?

learn to belly dance

ride an ostrich

swim with dolphins

do something with photography

become a goldsmith

go on a hiking trip down the SA and Namibian coastline from Richardsbay to Swakopmund, hike during the day and sleep on the beach at night, this would be amazing but not very possible I'm afraid.

New Orleans and the Mardi Gras
visit the Taj Mahal
do a tandem parachute jump

visit as many overseas countries as possible, i love travelling.

hmmm, compared to other people my list is probably a little lame right, well it's my list and that is what i wanna do~ so there ;)

whazzup!?

2008-08-05T08:35:00.000+02:00

here's a bit of feedback on current issues in my life...

I'm moving house end of august... I'm very UNenthusiastic about it, i hate packing, i hate moving... but I'm looking forward to the R900 saving I'll make every month!

my new landlord is younger than i am, he seems like a nice enough guy but neither of us backs down when there is conflict... according to new housing laws, my landlord is supposed to keep my deposit in a interest bearing account... he refuses to!!!... so i sent him a link to the housing act, pointing out that i've got him by the short and curlies... he's now ignoring me... or rather the issue... how stupid can one person be i ask you? not exactly a wonderful start to our new "relationship"...

i phoned the headmaster about the drunk teacher... he was, needless to say, not impressed! i stayed anonymous... for fear of said drunkan teacher whoopin my poor kid's ass...

I've had a very interesting tarot reading done the other day by expensive mistakes... I'm still wondering if i should tell you guys about it... I've never had a reading before so it was quite interesting to say the least...

summer is around the corner~!!! see i didn't say spring cause summer always bulldozes spring here where i live, one day it's still winter and BOOM baby next day~ summer's here! sorry northern hemisphere... the cold ~ it's on its way :)

my boss is on a three week holiday... *goofy laugh* needless to say I'm lovin it!

sleepy jane did a video blog the other day... for some reason i am very tempted to do one too... *shakes head at self* why? i have no idea!

while at a braai at glug's & angel this weekend, i was introduced to klippies and coke in a blikkie! (can)... omg i was so excited!! i'm used to the self mix... for those who don't know... klippies is brandy mixed with coke... i know so middle class right?!

don't care!!!

ish delichhhhhhhhhhhious :)

13... can you believe it?!

2008-08-04T08:10:00.003+02:00

that's right... Kay's 13 today... I'm actually the mother of a 13 year old... oy :)

happy birthday my baby, i can't believe you're such a big, friendly, funny guy... when did you grow up so fast?... i remember the day you were born like yesterday... you were so tiny and beautiful and mine :)

I'm feeling hugely nostalgic today for some reason, teary which is not like me and humbled...i can honestly say that my life is a better place because you're in it, i wouldn't have it any other way... it's such a cliche but I'm so proud of you! you are the one person who has stuck with me through all the shitty times, not that you had much of a choice i admit... but still... i don't know if you realise how worth while you've made these last 13 years...

i love you forever and always... rock on :)

hey hey it's Friday

2008-08-01T08:23:00.001+02:00

it's Friday... thank God...

have a blast babes :)~

moral dilemma

2008-07-31T08:18:00.006+02:00

i went to kay's parent teacher night last night ... gotto love those right... anyway i only had two teachers to see and Kay was my trusted companion... so there we sat in the one class with this teacher i don't like at all... had a bit of a problem with her last year, long story... sorted out after batman went to see the principal... anyway... so last night we were sitting down for a little heart to heart with this teacher... and i swear she was drunk as a skunk...

i know!

how odd!

now what am i supposed to do? she ponged like a freakin brewery... and the whole time i was thinking...

is this garlic?

NO!

is this just the breath~of~the~dead....

NO!

and she had the half lid slurry thing going...

i kid you not...

so i was thinking about this the whole evening and in passing i asked Kay, did teacher X smell a little bit funny to you?

yes mom she did smell... do you think she was drunk?

fuck... i thought i was exaggerating...

now what? do i get her fired? do i tell one of her teacher friends so that they can get help for her? this could crash her whole career! we all have our problems and if somebody can just help her... it's not like she's putting my kid in danger being snotters but obviously it's not on.... so what the fuck do i do?? say oops and forget about it?

where's my whip?

2008-07-30T08:28:00.001+02:00

ha... thought i was going all kinky and shit right?!... well maybe another time on another blog :)~

I'm writing a speech for Kay for school, his subject is

SCHOOL WAS INVENTED FOR CLEVER AND TALENTED LEARNERS ONLY

you can either agree or disagree... (in the speech that is ) so I changed it a bit and rather discuss that schools, South African schools in any case are geared towards the left brain dominant scholars... in effect stating that schools are unfairly advantageous to left brainers and the poor right brainers just struggle to keep with the program... and btw if you're shocked that i still write their speeches *sigh* i secretly love doing it... and i feel learning the speech off by heart is difficult enough... so for now... nuff said!

I'm not going to discuss this any further, i just want you to go look at this image and report back. being a right brainer i see the dancer turn one way and then switch to turn the other way, after a while the image switch as I want... apparently left brainers CAN'T do this!... *all the right brainers together now* poor you! nice being the odd one out eh?! my sister who's an mechanical engineer, and highly intelligent nearly had a fit because she couldn't make the dancer switch... or make her go the other way for that matter ;)

so I'm excessively arty~farty~feely~emotional and intuitive, but i can make the dancer turn both ways baby... just don't ask me to think rationally, analyze anything on think practically as to why this is so :)

unzippity

2008-07-29T08:07:00.003+02:00

Sheena is a constant supply of entertainment via email... today i read ANOTHER survey from sheebaliscious... and one of the questions were...

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite gender during a normal conversation?

and of course that made me think...

i had this HUGE crush on Bruce a few years ago... in between my two divorces ...

ok so onto his crotch...

well Bruce was tall and Bruce was a runner... and his best asset was his legs... and if he was wearing his sexy jean pant!... oh my swak hart... lemme just say i still hyperventilate when i think of Bruce... and you know what?? i ditched the stunning Bruce to go back to Batman... arrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh i still need therapy to get over that one...

anyway BACK TO HIS CROTCH!

sexy... all around, that's been established... we were just starting to flirt ridiculously with each other... and we were all at a friend's place... Bruce went to the loo... and I sat looking at the general area where he was about to exit... and my eyes zoomed into his crotch area because ... his fly was undone!...

what to do?

do i say out loud so that everybody can hear... hey sexy Bruce... zip up your fly dude... CAUSE I CAN'T HELP LOOKING AT YOUR CROTCH AND I JUST NOTICED YOUR FLY WAS UNDONE!

or do i just shut up and let someone else tell him... which nobody will of course do and my eyes will be glued to his peeno the whole evening... leaving me blushing and giggling uncontrollably the whole time? cause I'm that mature...

so i did what i had to do...

Bruce babe... erm... your fly is open...

everybody of course zoomed in as Bruce zipped himself up and then packed up laughing and screamed ... WHAT WHERE YOU LOOKING AT SWEETS?

and i can really blush... just give me the right amount of embarrassment and I'm red as a beetroot... which i promptly turned into, a lovely red beetroot... of course Bruce liked the idea that I was checking out his crotch, so that kind of sealed the deal for us... :)~

that green lil' thang

2008-07-28T08:15:00.001+02:00

jealousy~

Tamara was the only one that caught onto this, in my recent list of 8 random thing i mentioned that i didn't have a jealous bone in my body BUT a few weeks ago i said i was jealous in a post i did.. i was already thinking about penning this down anyway cause it sounds so ridiculously callous to say that i don't have a jealous bone in my body...

so here goes... let me clarify this statement...

jealousy to me is a useless emotion... i know people who get insane with jealousy about stuff, boyfriends, family, stuff stuff stuff... and i just don't get it... must be honest... let's take the boyfriend situation... SURE touch my man and you'll lose a finger in the process but blind ugly jealous rage... the bunny boiling type... not so much hey...

ok moving on... stuff... you have a gorgeous house and i want it!... again... nice house yes... yes i would love to have my own... but it's yours! you worked for it... so how on earth can i have sleepless nights about it?

stuff stuff stuff? jewelery... jobs... cars... argh same concept... i think on some level this is actually more a personality thing than anything else... some people just can't seem to be happy in life with what they have and whatever the Jones' have parked in the drive way... well fuck they have to have one too... and I'm not like that... so do i envy other people's stuff, sure who doesn't! but that nasty crazy kind... no!

in that post i referred to i said that if i had to be jealous of somebody it would be my sister... she truly has got her life sorted... she's happy, she's happily married, she's good, she's kind, she's generous... all good stuff... and i am so impressed by the fact that she has such a sorted life that i could be jealous of that... the concept more than the things she has... BUT of all the people in the world i want my sis to get everything she wants, cause she really deserves it, that sounds so lame right... but is true! hehe...

so that's how i feel about jealousy... it's a useless emotion that people waste a lot of time on... bottom line is...

if someone has a car you want... work to get your own one!

if someone has a house you want... work to get your own one!

if someone has the boyfriend you want... look for your own one!

am i wrong? i think not... so yes... ya'll shouldn't be so hard on yourselves... you probably don't have any jealous bones in your bodies either :)

splat

2008-07-24T13:24:00.008+02:00

Kay's birthday is in August and Jay's birthday is in October... and face it, kids parties are expensive... so... i came up with a perfect solution... a joint party at a paintball place... yeah!!!

i was so excited... more so than a mother probably should be... first mistake... already egging the kids on the choose me for their side... erm... apparently nobody wants me on their side!!!

why?

maybe because the last time i joined in the paintball fun i ran around with my arms flailing while screaming like a girl... sigh... it was so much fun!!!... and funnily enough nobody could splat me... i was that noisy and that fast...

with that particular party, two kids didn't show, so batman and i looked at each other and i chirped... "I'm so going to shoot you batman!"... which i promptly proceeded to do... he had an ugly blue bloody shot on his stomach... hahahaha... fun!!! nothing like two divorcees settling some old scores eh?!

so, this year I'll be the one running around, arms flailing, screaming like a girl... outside the designated area... shit :(

God's gift to womankind...

2008-07-24T08:14:00.008+02:00

listen to these podcasts... a guy in the States (Dimitri) asks a girl (Olga) for her number after making eye contact somewhere, Olga hands him her business card... here are the actual voicemail messages he leaves her (courtesy of 5fm) - check it out:

voicemail message number 1

when conceited Dimitri didn't get a call back... he leaves clever Olga another message...

voicemail message number 2

i just couldn't stop laughing...

in Dimitri's mind he looks like this :)

why?

2008-07-23T08:40:00.005+02:00

i had a discussion with someone just now about the whole older woman~ younger guy vs older man/younger woman relationships thing... and we were wondering why is it such a huge thing when a older woman dates or marries for that matter a younger guy? very dodgy...

but when a old guy marries or dates a young chickababe it's absolutely fine... but let an older woman rake in a younger piece of deliciousness and well it's just frowned upon... be honest... everybody thinks that... but let an old, Viagra taking 70 year old guy get himself a young piece of ass it's like... acceptable!

how very odd

why is that?

randomnessness

2008-07-22T08:47:00.000+02:00

the dreadful leez tagged me... to his defence he's a new blogger so I'll humour him... just because he's so damn nice... go check his blog out... OK read my post first and then go :)

OK here goes...

8 random facts about me (you don't already know)...

*looking out of my window thinking...*

i love thumb rings... nothing more random than that right?!

i eat my breakfast in the bath... is this strange? i sometimes find dried up pieces of corn flakes in the tub when i want to take a bath again...

i watch the Oprah show every day, i heart Oprah! what's the scoop on her and Steadmann, i really should Google that cause I'm dying to know...

I totally get immersed in The Amazing race... i scream like a hooligan at the end of every program... jumping up and down... scary actually... Kay told me the other day..."mom i can't understand a word you're saying, you are totally insane..."

i secretly would love to have 2 more kids, how insane is that?

i love piercings, if my body didn't reject my piercings i would have my eyebrow pierced in a second.

i don't drink vitamins, i hate vitamins... you didn't really want to know that did you... i know :)

i don't have a jealous bone in my body, i sometimes wonder why that is, not patting myself on the back here people, it's a random observation cause i couldn't think of anything else to say, it's number 8 after all :)

if you want to do the list... go... do it! and let me know of course so i can check it out :)

that stupid question

2008-07-21T08:20:00.004+02:00

my best friend asked me the other day what the hell was going on with my love life? that's such a good question :) other than regular sex i can honestly say that I'm truly content at the moment to be single. is that strange? it's been a long road for me and it's been tough and doing it alone has been tough, i would be the first to admit that. but if i step back and objectively look at my life, well it's looking pretty peaceful at the moment. i have no drama to speak of, no incredible highs and certainly no devastating lows. cause for some reason that's been the pattern of my love life, drama, passion and then devastation. so am i going out looking to drag that back into my life? hell no~ I've made peace with the fact that my kids are for now my first priority. their lives have had enough trauma to last a lifetime. divorce can really damage people, messy words, dirty deeds, dark secrets that's supposedly hidden from innocent little children of divorce... well those nasty secrets has a way to surface regardless. we think the ugliness, the vicious destruction of divorce does not really affect kids? that's such a load of bullshit. kids aren't stupid. what effect do you think that last conversation we had with the kids have on them? what effect did that horrible Friday afternoon have on their psyche, that moment when we broke our house in two and told them that the 2 most important people in their lives didn't love each other anymore. that horrific realization on Kay's face will haunt me to my dying day. their desperate pleas for reconciliation. those haunting cries. make no mistake that divorce is brutal on kids, i truly think it's despicable and selfish. but it's life right? such a pathetic excuse. anyway, bearing all of this in mind I'm needless to say extremely wary to shake up their world ever again, not on my watch anyway. but someone to love will be great for them, some would say. sure it would. but what's the chance that will happen with the first guy i meet? so i don't get laid often, in the bigger scheme of things that's kind of a small sacrifice for me at the moment, i have to tell you. sure i miss having someone, companionship etc. but that will come, i 'm sure of that. I'm not scared that I'll never meet someone again, cause i will, i know that. but for now all my love, my attention and my energy has to go to them, i kind of think i owe it to to them...

happy :)

2008-07-18T08:06:00.002+02:00

I'm officially one year old on Sunday~

in blog years that is :)

wow what a ride!! i feel all nostalgic, can't believe it's a year already! it has really changed me, that's a fact! So thank you firstly to all you sweet thangs for reading my shit so diligently, you make my heart go boom~biddy~bumm...

i heart you's!!!

I've also made a wonderful friend just by blogging... and her boyfriend ain't too bad either... he is actually quite a rock star :) other real life blogging hotties I've met... sheebalicious... and of course the bloggirls... all of these new people in my life... just by blogging :) not to mention all the blogs i read... you all rock my world :) gosh I'm using my smiley face excessively today... so do yourself a flavour and read my first ever blog post... and thanks to Philip, the sloth master, my first blog friend, who left a comment on my very first post...

i also share this celebration with Madiba, who's 90 years old today, amazing man who changed the lives of South Africans forever... happy birthday Madiba!

Stressed?!

2008-07-17T08:25:00.003+02:00

firstly...you guys are so funny... i laughed my ass off at your comments... just to clarify:

I've bought a new tank, a new 60 litre square standard job... my fish have adapted splendidly, either they were very cold or scared shitless when i put them into their new home, they were literally paralyzed for about 10 seconds before they swam off into the .... i so much want to say sunset here... i do, i really do... but OK, they swam in to the corner... so i guess i stunned them... i have that effect, what can i say :)

i hate sushi... just the thought of eating my darling pretties AS sushi is almost too...*hurl*... much to bear! LOL

anyway... onto my stressed out post...

gotcha!... not so much stress ... so strange! I was unusually tired last night, my mind was racing, trying to latch onto that inevitable "thing" that I was worrying about... you know...

racing

nothing! my thoughts jumped around like it's done without cease for years now, cause there is ALWAYS something to stress about... but nada... nein... aikona... nothing! how odd... but how oddly refreshing i guess :) makes for a nice change... to be honest... the less drama i have going in my life, the better, so this people is pure utter bliss... i feel like kissing an elephant too, isn't that a cool pic?!

I've sorted out my finances (thank God), I've found a steal of a place to rent, the kids are fine, batman is paying, work is fine, 8 cigarettes a day is working like a dream, Polly Piet the parrot is loving me, insomnia disappears when i eat my banana every night, my mom is buying me a dishwasher!... so... nothing to stress about! my life is stress free, OK within limits, but that HUGE stress factor, that THING that can nag at you for days and weeks, i don't have one at the moment...

ain't that a nice change i thought... yes it's decidedly so, I'm stress free and loving it :)

scrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeech...

OK there's this one thing.... mwhahahahahahah just kidding...i honestly have nothing!

*sweets skipping into the sunset*

*looking for an elephant to kiss*

kick ass fish

2008-07-16T08:07:00.000+02:00

didn't you know that fish kicked ass? wow you are so stuck in the '80's if you don't like fish :)

i read a post over at the Divine sleepy jane's about her new pretties... and remembered that i forgot to tell you about what happened the other day...

turns out i have porridge fingers, yes and having porridge fingers when you're cleaning a fish tank is probably not the best thing... so yes... i broke my 100 litre hexagon shaped tank... it's a heck of a job to clean that tank lemme tell you... i have cold water fish cause i haven't hooked up the tank heater yet and the fish tank does need a thorough cleaning about once every 2 months... so i pumped all of the water out... with the suction thing... and when batman came to fetch the kids for the weekend i asked him to please take the sucker outside so i could scrub it down ... all's well, batman does what he's asked... and leaves with the kids... there i stand in my pj's with the hose, ready to clean the sucker... but the tank in daylight shows all the yuckiness i didn't even notice inside... so i thought it best to clean all the pebbles too...

then...a super intelligent thought comes to mind...

put the tank on it's side sweets!!...

will work like a charm!!...

everybody can so nooooooooooooooooo right about here...

yip it will work like a charm if you want to break the damn tank... which i promptly proceeded to do of course...

ABSA~licious ;)

2008-07-15T08:15:00.002+02:00

I've perfected the art of waiting into such a pleasurable pass time... i was waiting for my phantom credit card, it disappeared without a trace, and was watching all the customers at the bank... oh joy... nothing like watching unsuspecting people who has no idea that I'm totally scrutinizing their entire appearance...

while waiting I've learnt the following interesting things...

the knee high boot is back, hmmmm not much a boot lover myself but it's evident that boots are back in a big way... luckily I don't care if I'm supposed to look like the chicks on the outside, the middle one is just more classical, i 'm sorry, I dress like the middle one... how very MILF like of me i know...

if your toe nails look like this...(ok i've deleted the most hideous picture ever and replaced it with this more entertaining version, but trust me the pic i posted originally was spot on to describe the horrible feet i encountered :) but it was so gross that i took it off hehe) don't cue with other people at a bank wearing blooming flops ... wear shoes or for goodness sake amputate those toes... whatever you do.... just do something cause that's one word.... nasty! alternatively apply for a loan at the bank that you're queuing at and go to a beautician every single day for 3 months until people don't run away screaming when they see your feet ... seriously, that's just taking disgusting to a whole new level... another thing... if you walk around with feet like that don't be offended when i point to your toes and gasp (hurl also not excluded) ... cause i will...

there is a disturbing amount of gay people about... I'm not homophobic, but still i noticed ... another useless tip: when you're a guy (not gay) and you dress like this, i will be convinced you are a homosexual cause face it, other guys don't dress like this... ever.

having a hairstyle like this looks like its really .... *snort* really... tiresome... you probably develop interesting neck muscles to maintain "the look"... cause you have to hold your head at a certain angle to keep on looking that... perfect... especially if you are a teller at a bank... need i say more?

silent monday

2008-07-14T08:44:00.003+02:00

lip service

2008-07-11T08:15:00.001+02:00

i got my first lip wax yesterday...

i don't tweeze...

it's very painful...

and when i went to the beautician to do my brows i told her...

ffs just wax my top lip too :)

i really don't have an extremely furry top lip...

keep that in mind, but

I'm just paranoid because of two things...

i worked with a woman years ago, she was very feminine but that top lip!!! omg i had to physically restrain myself every time i talked to her...i just wanted to either touch that moustache or pluck it out... i could never figure out which...

and the second incident...

my horrible best friend was in a very playful mood the other day...

and in the middle of our chat said this...

so when are you shaving your moustache off?

i fainted of course...

so i decided (vir die wis en die onwis)... just in case... I'm taking no chances with this sucker!

pluck it!

beauty knows no pain and all that jazz...

so i was lying there and getting more worried by the minute...

that deep inner voice was bugging me...

oh shit sweets i don't know if this is such a good idea...

i, of course ignored that wise little voice...

i mean the hot wax was on my lip, what was i supposed to do?

let's just say my subconcious remembered an incident that i do my best to forget...

let me explain...

there is an Indian method of removing hair... with string... i know

weird right?

but it's amazing

it works

...

for other people!

i saw the technique done

then i wanted what they had!

i jumped in the chair and said

do me!

and of course they did me...

looked great

until the next morning...

breaking pieces of hair off was maybe not such a good idea

tiny little zits formed all over my brows...

(they did my eyebrows)

arhhhhhhhhhhhh the shame

everywhere i went

people would look twice and innocently ask

what's wrong with your eyes?

my standard answer after the 10th person...

fuck off and mind your own eyebrows!

ok so i never did that again

but now i tried the lip wax

not with string

with wax

omg

i figured the hair is physically yanked out right?

so no zits can appear!

big mistake

i feel like my top lip is on fire

or something

i have a sensitive skin but even this is taking it a bit far

i have teensy weensy little zits on my top lip now

sex

goddess... so sexy :)

oy!

huh??

2008-07-10T08:57:00.007+02:00

as you all know i have two boys... I've picked up some useful information along the years that's made it easier for me to answer random question they ask... before my divorce, if i didn't know the answer to a question i asked batman to answer them... but... batman has flown the coop as we all know... so it's only me left... with the strange questions... and lemme tell you, kids~ especially boys, come up with the weirdest questions... a fine example, happened last night...

boys are in the bath...

mammmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... come here!

*i'm having my precious 6 o'clock cigarette*

sigh

yes, what is it?

come here mamma!!! *really anxious*

the following conversation then takes place...

kay says i don't have balls mamma! i do have balls don't I??

*me arching eyebrow*

kay you really need a good smack, don't you?

kay's laughing off his 12 year old ass... teenagers are SO much fun...

jay you HAVE balls, trust me on this, I've seen them with my own two eyes...

see there they are!

*pointing to said pair of balls*

*all eyes now on jay's "set"*

but Kay said...

Jay your brother is 12 years old... he won't be himself for the next 6 years... trust me on this, don't believe your brother when he tells you, you don't have balls...ok? I'm your mother... i won't lie about this... you have balls my boy, they haven't dropped yet... that's all... so they aren't very... visible... as yet... whatever you do don't compare your dangly bits with your brother at the moment... that would be just cruel... ok? your balls are just fine!!!

you're 8 sweetheart...

give it time...

i would be worried sick if you had balls of steel at this age...

ok?

*jay giggling like a little monkey* strangely satisfied with what i said...

ok mamma... cool :)

so weird... I've never said BALLS in a conversation so many times before.. :)

gambling

2008-07-09T08:00:00.003+02:00

i don't gamble... probably because I'm not very lucky ... but one of my clients had quite an interesting (understatement!) gambling experience recently.... i just had to tell you about it!

it was her birthday, she worked hard that day (co owner of a pub) her husband was watching rugby all afternoon... and by 19hoo no birthday celebrations have ensued... so she told her hubby to put on his gambling shoes cause they were going to Monte Casino, end of story... they've never been there incidentally... they got there, the place was packed, basically they only wanted to have dinner and then head home... but it was so packed that they decided to gamble a bit first... so she got R100 voucher and there she was gambling along all on her lonesome, her husband got lost somewhere in the place... all of a sudden the machine she was playing on, died... with her remaining money!... she got up... looked for an attendant, nobody about... so she moved on to the next machine... there she gambled a bit more, her husband found her and they decided that they've had enough and left... she told him about the loss and that was the end of that...

3 days later her hubby gets a call from a "employee" from Monte Casino...

Mr. So and so... were you at our casino on Saturday night?

yes i was, why??? (now if you live in South Africa your crime antenna would be going off right about now)

Your wife forgot her winnings at the casino... when will she come through to claim it? You were driving a Peugeot, registration number XXX123GP... is that right?

hmmmm... slang in die gras.... now he's absolutely sure this is a ploy to hijack him...

he rang off and phoned Monte Casino directly, not the number the guy gave him tho...

spoke to public relations...

and so waar as wragtag... yes Mr. X your wife did indeed leave her winnings here, we want to also take you for a complementary dinner... when would you like to come?

Strange...

so they made an arrangement for that same night...

they got there...the PR lady was waiting at the offices... she said they're just waiting for another person to join them... he arrived... and said...

well Mrs. X... you've actually won a Golf 5 and R25000! the machine never died, it just shut down after the winning...

holy shit!

imagine that!!!

the machine she won on... bombed out... and they left... security then tracked them with the security cameras to the parking garage... got their registration number... and tracked them with that!

this is not an urban legend, it really truly happened... i know this woman personally, and i saw the forking car... it's unreal! amazing, heart warming story right?

sigh... maybe i should go gambling?!

negative

2008-07-08T08:00:00.000+02:00

no~ i didn't go for a HIV test again... i'm talking about my bank balance... now this is a part of my life which i hate... it seems no matter what i do or that which i don't do... I'm always in the red... that means one thing... credit card and overdraft... argh... i hate it!

so last week i paid off my last account... AND i lowered my overdraft... AND i deactivated my credit card from my debit card... i know! aren't i such a responsible adult eh? ha!

btw~ that piece of meat has nothing whatsoever to do with this post... i just kind of drooled when i saw this pic and couldn't find a pic to describe the way i was feeling so i thought i would post the cowboy instead... isn't he just de~fucking~licious???

ok at closer inspection... he is extremely hot belly button up... with an abdomen like that he may need an emergency appendix opp soon...

erm... back to business...

i wiped away a tear when i handed the customer services clerk, Tebego, my Edgars card... he was very sympathetic and even offered me a tissue... bless his heart... then he phoned in my cancellation to head office... and Sue at head office wanted to talk to me... i know... weird!... Sue tried her damnest to convince me that summer is just around the corner and what the hell was i thinking by cancelling my account??

obviously they don't get many requests to cancel an account...

i know Sue... it wasn't easy... but it's the right thing to do... i think i made such a compelling argument that Sue will be closing her own account shortly...

i have no brakes when it comes to spending... so I'm forcing myself to spend less... cause face it, an account that you can use at different shops... lingerie, clothes, stationary (i love those)... shoes... home goodies... one word... TROUBLE!

so now it's cash or nothing...

yikes

i need a cigarette

oh shit

i have to wait another two hours before i can have one of those...

it's going well with the two hour smoking-thing btw...

*doing the sweetass jive*

have mercy

2008-07-07T10:00:00.004+02:00

that's me

age about 3

i started young

no i didn't actually smoke at that age

my mom caught me playing with my dad's cigarettes

very cute right?

no it's not!

she should have given me a bloody hiding instead of running for the damn camera

that's what i think...

sigh

I'm trying so damn hard to quit smoking

i really am

does telling yourself that you have to quit 50 million times a day qualify as trying?

no it doesn't

the will is there

but the flesh is weak

it ain't easy

problem is i don't want to quit

and somehow my head is "right"

that makes no sense

wanting and not wanting at the same time

I've tried Allen Carr

i hate Allen Carr by the way

i just do

the man is delusional

so my next move is cutting down

rocket science i tell you... rocket science

one smoke every two hours

8h00 to 22h00

that's 8 cigarettes a day

i can live with that

just hope my lungs can too :)

bunking

2008-07-04T08:00:00.000+02:00

ha... I'm off today!...

took the day off to spend with those two cool beasties...

i will think of you poor sods working...

while i spend money that i don't have...

ahhhh bliss :)

have an awesome weekend!

ride it like it's stolen... *

*(that quote i shamelessly stole)

sonbrilletjies

2008-07-03T09:22:00.000+02:00

sonbrilletjies... oh ooooh... die glas is gekraak... remember that Al Debo song... ? hehe... anyway....

sunglasses :)
ain't that just the sweetest dog evaaaa??

i read a blog post on bangers and mash, lopz was talking about her new pair of sunnies that's skew... and it made me think about my own sunnies problems...

my process...

(the way i talk you'd think I'm an artist)

break old lovely adorable wonderful irreplaceable sunglasses...

cry for a week...

pull myself together...

start the sunglasses hunt...

cry for another week...

start hunting again...

when i at last have 10 pairs that i like, this is what happens:

put glasses on face

look in mirror

smile

then it happens...99 out of 100 sunglasses literally lift off my damn face!!! it's my ears... when i smile my ears lift... mwhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahaha how absolutely ridiculous but still...

smile
liftoff
not so pretty...
argh

so to find sunglasses that stay put on on my nose when i smile... THAT pair is a keeper ;)

pain

2008-07-02T07:56:00.004+02:00

i have a migraine

it's pure torture

the pharmacy opens in an hour

another 60 minutes of pain

you know how pain can be described as piercing or dull or throbbing?

well this one is loud

the beast

2008-07-01T08:38:00.004+02:00

oh my greatness... i have the mother of all PMS at the moment... I'm like a growling beast ready to decapitate anything that looks my way.... sigh...

so i thought i would entertain you today with yet another one of my most embarrassing moments... if you have time... hop over to slyde's blog... post of 06/26/08... his ten most embarrassing moments... good heavens people i peed a little in my panties... it's really funny... so slyde made me think... other than my "how are your neck" episode and my HIV disaster story, and of course my lesbian moment... this also makes me blush just thinking about it... luckily my embarrassing moments aren't so public (yet, touch wood ~ hug a tree) but this one... oh man...

i was pregnant with Jay... nearing the 40 week mark... huge as a elephant... i visited a friend of mine, waddled over the couch... one of those really comfy ones, that you struggle to get out of... now when you're pregnant, in my case anyway, hormones are not scarce... i ooze hormones when I'm pregnant... that said please note that i am clean... i bath twice a day... ok?! ... so there i sat... relaxing... chatting... laughing... and the next thing i see her dog in the doorway... his tail pointed up in the air... his ears at attention... his eyes about to pop out of his head... he smelled the hormone source~!...

oh my goodness... it was like a scene out of a cartoon... he couldn't move fast enough and yet everything seemed to move in slow motion... needless to say he made a beeline for me... or rather my crotch... and stuck his damn snout in between my legs and just couldn't be moved... so there i sat... huge... with a damn dog stuck between my legs! my friend was paralyzed with laughter... so needless to say she didn't do a damn thing to get the dog off me... and as much as i pulled... he pushed... good grief... it was horrible... horrible... so if i see a dog now i cross my legs just in case :)

so there... if you see a pregnant woman and you own a dog... keep them apart for Pete's sake!

Moi... me... the I person

2008-06-30T08:08:00.001+02:00

I saw this, the I list at Sage's blog and I too, thought it was cool :) that and blog fodder is damn scarce these days...

I am: a woman first, then a mother, then a daughter, then a sister, then a friend :)

I know: that i should quit smoking

I want: to win the lotto

I wish: I could be a contestant in the Amazing Race... i would loooooooove that :)

I hate: that i have to quit smoking

I miss: running every morning at 5

I fear: burglars breaking into my house at night while I'm asleep

I feel: with my hands and fingers, even my tongue works well ;)~

I smell: with my nose

I hear: with my ears... honestly ;)

I crave: baked potatoes

I search: if i knew what i would have found it by now, but i don't know so I'm still looking

I wonder: about lots of stuff that you would be quite surprised about

I regret: getting married @ the tender age of 19

I love: besides the obvious... i love to laugh

I ache: when i can't help my kids with stuff they struggle with but must learn to do themselves

I am not: Harry Oppenheimer, such a pity really, but on the other hand Harry's dead isn't he?

I believe: in God

I dance: horribly and often

I sing: like a nightingale... wmahhahahah sorry i couldn't resist... i do not sing well... although i love to sing

I cried last: watching a DVD

I fight: with my kids almost every day, forgive me

I write: on my blog, in my diary, on little pieces of scrap paper...

I win: I win? i don't get this one... see not really competitive

I lose: i lose my keys often, does that count?

I am never: late

I always: pray with my kids before they go to bed

I confuse: easily :)

I listen: to the same CD for weeks on end until i can't listen to it anymore

I can usually be found: at work or at home

I need: a 3 week holiday on an deserted (yet luxurious) island

I am happy: will it sound corny if i say... every day? cause i am

I imagine: things you wouldn't imagine me imagining

that's it... kind of cool huh?

OK your turn!

different

2008-06-27T08:04:00.003+02:00

out of this noise...

here comes the stillness

out of this chaos

here comes the order

out of this language

out out these words

(beautiful french mumblings)

out of patience

out of deed

out of courage

out of me

out of reason

out of truth

out of conscience

out of you

~~~~~~

these words aren't the whole song... but these words are pretty awesome... theme song from Tara Road, absolutely stunning! the song is on youtube, but i just couldn't get the damn thing to work on here... so there...

ok don't be too naughty this weekend... but if you can't help yourself, well, that's life, make it count it :)

and as always... no regrets!

baby steps

2008-06-26T08:05:00.001+02:00

i posted this post on bad mommy blog too, so if you read that... sorry~ rerun :)

Concerta turned out to be a kind of a blessing and a curse all mixed together in a white tablet to be taken once a day, with breakfast :)

it's about two weeks now that Kay's on the medication and although I'm trying soooooo hard to be negative about this... so i can just tell his doc..... sorry this drug is just not for my kid ok!?

sigh

it's kind of working... wonders

who knew?

the new focused super charged Kay is a easy child to live with, I never knew he was so all over the place until he wasn't anymore... he still eats his food, although a bit less, i noticed that... he's also struggling to sleep more than 6-8 hours at a time... I'll see more of the results with his school work next term, it's school holiday now... but the big breakthrough is ... he's not so anxious anymore...

he's taking chances! real "dangerous" steps in his mind... like walking to school! this is a HUGE step for him... i know it sounds silly but really, as his mother i know what a big deal this was... granted it's not all the way to school, halfway... but still... halfway!!!

I'm slowly exhaling and my heart is bursting a little cause I'm so proud of him!

baby steps... :)

bird

2008-06-25T08:25:00.002+02:00

my mom has an agreement with us girls... (the three stooges) i mean us three sisters... that all her earthly goods has a sticker under it... so one day when she travels to the pearly gates... we won't fight about her stuff... she's given each item away before it's necessary... so no fighting will ensue after her death... good idea right? we think so... for example every so often I'll tell her... mamma that there pot is mine right?... and she'll smile and say...yes sweets, the sticker is stuck baby! and that will be that...

this part of the post will only make sense later so relax...

on Monday my BIL was supervising his mansion building activities currently underway... and out of nowhere an African grey parrot flies to him and lands on his shoulder! and as any normal human being would do... he grabbed the bird and made a beeline for the front door... to hide the bird from the neighbours...

it's a baby bird still... very cute to say the least... and let me tell you... the extended family really wants this bird!!! but we did the right thing... posters up all over the place... but nobody has claimed Bird yet! so either Bird flew further than we expected... or his owners don't deserve him... we decided and hope and pray that it's the latter :) due to the fact that nobody in our family has ever owned a bird, we didn't have a birdcage handy to stuff Bird into for the night... so my BIL took Bird to the nearest pet shop... and there Bird will stay until it's clear that nobody is looking for him/her...

let me just tell you... everybody loves Bird... Bird for some reason doesn't like me... unreal i know!... but what the heck... i LOVE Bird so for the time being i don't mind him biting me or giving me the evil eye... he is too cute... he nibbles on my mother's hearing aid (mwhahahahahahaha i know!)... and to say that my mom has fallen in love with this bird is an understatement...

so my dear BIL (who also sort of fell in love with Bird although he'll never admit it)... has decided in his infinite wisdom that Bird will come home to grandma if nobody claims him... even if somebody does claim him he's buying my mom another African Grey... ain't that sweet!

i thought so...!

anyway... as soon as mamma gets her parrot I'm asking her to stick my sticker under Bird's foot!

(he will most likely outlive me and my mom... life expectancy about 60)

the smaller the better

2008-06-24T08:13:00.001+02:00

size doesn't count after all... ok with certain stuff size sure as shit does count...

but really?... not as much as you guys think...

ok I'm not talking about peeno's today... I'm talking about my irritating ways... I'm forever making notes during the day... 10 years ago i could actually remember the smallest detail without needing to put pen to paper but alas i have made peace with the fact that when you hit 30... yes 30 people... shocking but true... your mind start using it's amazing capacity to just flippen well i don't know what... but to remember small countless little facts?... or even very important messages and details? no chance... anyway... granted, the concept of writing the info down is a good idea ... and i purchased a nice book to do this in... but if you have a phone to your ear and your mind in a different location... well to remember to JUST use the damn book just doesn't always work... to add to this irritation, just as you put the phone down and you REMEMBER to write down the info in the said book... somebody calls my name and the piece of paper flutters to the surface of my desk... and DISAPPEAR.... mysteriously... luckily I'm not totally brain dead... typically two days later i would either wake with a start in the middle of the night... or stirring my coffee would ignite a moment of genius and i would REMEMBER that important thing that i never did ...

*my thought pattern goes pretty much like this when the light bulb goes on in my head*

GASP!

DANG... i had to do something important....

what could it be?? hmmmmm....

*scratching chin*...

oh look at the pretty flower... smile...

*screechy music inside my head brings me back to original thought pattern*

SHIT!

i forgot to do X...!!!!

nooooooooooooo! how could i forget this???

luckily my boss is 30 years my senior... ;) 'nuff said!

so is it a good idea to write down your boss's flight booking info on a piece of paper?...

bookings that you haven't made yet??...

info that you need to make those damn bookings with?

on a piece of paper that inevitably disappears?

not so much...

wisdom

2008-06-23T08:52:00.003+02:00

I fiddle when I can and work when I should.

– John Denver

good philosophy me thinks :)

my point exactly

2008-06-20T07:53:00.001+02:00

so yesterday i was discussing how all of are so obviously self centered... oh i know! it's a diary... it's a sounding board!... but still you HAVE to admit... for me in any case... this blog is the only thing in my whole entire life that is so self centered it reeks of it... and hey like i said yesterday... i have dealt with it... so yet again today...

it's all about ME baby!!!

this is a meme... DON'T RUN AWAY!we should stop calling meme's meme's don't you think... no tolerance for meme's out there... NObody will be tagged... so don't fear when sweets is near k?... this intrigued me mostly because i tend to avoid analyzing myself, and this kind of forced me to look inside a bit... not about the food and stuff.... there is NO analyzing needed there! but the second last photo on the right... bottom row... see that picture... that's me... searching... and i have no damn clue where to surface and what I'm even looking for... that's quite profound i thought... so kudos for blogging... cause this is the kind of thing that blogging does for me... it forces me out of my comfort zone... and i just put it out there... and i sit back and watch... so if that made any sense to you whatsoever lemme know cause i could use a bit of objectivity here :)

long story short, you look for pics that describes the following questions, mine starts top left, left to right, first row, second row, third row... capiche? (I'm almost sure i have this wrong, but that is how i did this for me)... if you want the real rules, go over to Bridget or Angel... they did it too and they followed the rules...

1. What is your first name?

… Stef...

2. What is your favorite food?

… lamb roast and baked potatoes... isn't that everybody's?

3. What high school did you go to?

… Diep gewortel hehe Hoerskool die Wilgers, goeie boere skool :)~

4. What is your favorite color?

… boom baby... i mean blue baby :)

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

… Edward Norton... omg he just makes me want to be really naughty...

6. What is your favorite drink?

… cappuccino with cream

7. What is your dream vacation?

… Greek Isles

8. What is your favorite dessert?

… chocolate mousse

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

… my own boss

10. What do you love most in life?

… stupid question... two male creatures :)

11. What is one word that describes you?

… searching

12. What is your blog name?

… Sweets… it's a bit difficult to get a pic to describe "divorced with a sweet ass"!

so there... i thought that was quite thought provoking... but maybe you just thought

*hurl*

... if you did... well ... my point exactly :)~

selfish bitch

2008-06-19T08:20:00.000+02:00

I'm a selfish bitch...

yes... that's what i am...

I've dealt with it, have you?

sigh... being the pleaser that i am; that was such a difficult statement to make... i had to force my cold little fingers to type it... that's how bad i am... but I've come to accept that when i blog... i inevitably write stuff about myself... cause what the hell else am i supposed to do??... dangle over my neighbour's wall and check out what she's up to and then tell you about it?... nah... didn't think so... so as i was lying in bed last night... puffy eyed and depressed.... in insomniac hell, twiddling my thumbs and thinking ...

what the fuck am i going to blog about tomorrow??...

and all i could think about was... i wonder how many times i use the word I in a post?...

honestly...

16 times so far ;) see selfish right there... who else use that word so many times in a piece of writing....!!!

oh the shame...

that is SO selfish!... and I'm NOT selfish... but i guess i am after all... which shocked me even more... blogging is so strange that way... don't know how this crazy blog world even started, but I'm sure that guy had NO clue how popular it would turn out to be... i mean, honestly... to give any random person a little soap box to shout his truths out into the world is just many people's idea of a perfect world... right? ... another strange fact that i read so many blogs myself... I'm addicted... i have to get my fix... and my fix is taking up more and more of my time... so I've cut down... i don't' buy airtime to get Internet access anymore at home... it was horrible at first... I'm sure i had withdrawal symptoms, kept on looking over to the pc hoping... but i stuck it out... now i do normal person stuff at night... i TALK to my kids, i LAUGH with my kids... ok i LAUGH at the tv too... i READ actual books... all my socks are neatly rolled into little bundles... my dishes are done ... my fish have a clean tank... see very good thing i stopped going online at night... cause just now i didn't have a real life after all ... argh

mojo back

2008-06-18T08:05:00.004+02:00

ha... my mama fixed my mojo... i shit you not... i was so depressed, very unlike myself... i absolutely hate being like that... moaning and groaning about every single thing... but yesterday it just all got a bit much and when i arrived to pick up the beasties my mom gave me one look and said...

sugar what's wrong with my baby?...

i know... I'm 36 but dang... my mama's love is just what i needed... she told me "sweets just move... pack your stuff and get the hell out" anyway... biggest stress in my life right now is about to be eliminated... evil landlord... she's really really really pissing me off... long story short... I'm not prepared to pay more for the 2 bedroom place I'm living in right now... she wants more money... and i'm not paying her more... end of story

here's a taste of our daily emails of the last two weeks... reminds me of a tug of war going on...

rent is going up 1 July sweets...

is that right? hmmm... cool... just fix a, b, c and d then i don't have a problem

yeah yeah sweets I'll fix it eventually, but you know it's not my problem that the place has water damage... and with the interest rate hikes, and the special levies... my word the cost of your unit is just sky rocketing... I'll have the body corporate fix it in a few months... but hey i want more rent ok?

screw you evil landlady, the interest rate hikes and all shit is not my problem... there's a reason i don't own my own place, so I'm not paying one more cent until this place is fixed...

so that's where we are at... me giving notice... i really don't need this in my life right now... so there! stick that in your pipe and smoke it you evil woman :)

and you thought you were depressed?

2008-06-17T08:40:00.001+02:00

look at those pics... everyone together now.... awwwwwwwww

that's me today... not in the mood for work after the long weekend...

Food

Fun

...and ...

would have rhymed so nicely to say Fucking right :)

i'm sorry... did i offend anybody?...

too bad so sad...

anyway... back to the rat race... round and round and round... I'll be back as soon as I find my personality... ;)

who's your daddy!

2008-06-12T15:30:00.005+02:00

hey boys and girls... this coming Monday is a south african public holiday, youth day... so I'll be back on Tuesday... but in the meantime... I'll be watching the comrades this weekend, it's a family tradition to follow the race the whole freaking day on tv... and by the end of the day you are so hyped up... grabbing your running gear and wanting to do the impossible yourself... my brother actually ran the race once, he finished in about 10 hours if i remember correctly... hectic!

ok onto business... ;)

it's also Father's day on Sunday so.... happy Father's day to all you sweet guys out there!

never underestimate the impact can have on your kids ok daddy-o's?? ... as a mommy, even if i don't like batman very much most days, he's still my babies' daddy... and they love him incredibly much... after all i can never be a mom and a dad to them, it's not supposed to be that way, I'm just a mom and their daddy... well he's still their hero, just the way it should be :)

so do me a favour Daddy's ... on Sunday EVERY woman you walk past you say

*with authority* ...

WHO'S YOUR DADDY??

;)

closure

2008-06-12T07:49:00.003+02:00

no... not closure as in mind blowing personal issues... just some closure with my hair!!

this is me with long hair... and no i will never ever look like that again... I've made my peace and will look like a boy for the rest of my life :) because it's just too damn hard to grow my hair... shit... it's totally ridiculous!! so it's official...

I've given up... i cut my hair yesterday... actually my hairdresser did... so don't fear...

so yes... disappointing but hell no body's perfect right :)

way back when...

2008-06-11T08:50:00.000+02:00

be warned that this post is not for the squeamish... i apologise in advance :)

reading The Jackson Files brings back so many memories for me... reading what Jackson gets up reminds me of all the stuff that my babies did... sigh... they are growing up too fast... i catch myself taking mental pictures of them when my camera isn't handy... a far away look in their eye, that special smile... the belly laugh... bath time... it all goes too fast...

anyway i remembered a not so decent incident but highly entertaining... I can't even remember which one of my kids it was but he was sick, very sick, had a very high fever, you know that fever they get at 2 am... when nobody else is around and you are on the verge of hysteria... it was a night like that... he was about 3 years old... and a three year old is quite strong let me tell you... the only solution for a very high fever, in the middle of the night is a suppository... yes i know it's gross but lemme tell you it's a miracle to have those around... they work almost instantly... sorry I'm getting side tracked... so there i was, divorced and alone with a very sick child... trying to deposit the loot in the little hole... hehe... with a difficult, kicking child... holding his legs in my one hand (by the ankles) while pushing his legs back... I KNOW... gross... but desperate times you know... he saw what i was about to do and having had experienced this procedure before... he screamed....

nooooooooooo mommyyyyyyyyyy not the bullet!!!!

tuesday...

2008-06-10T07:58:00.004+02:00

hey there!!... I'm feeling strangely energized today... if i didn't know better i would be convinced the sandman* shagged me last night...

jokes aside... crisis averted or rather handled ... i realized that it actually works to organize my life at home... being an adult at work AND at home seems to do the trick... who knew right?! i too was shocked at this don't worry...

i had a bit of a wake up call yesterday... i was discussing some work with my boss and she looked at me and said... sweets why are you so irritated?... oops... me...irritated!!?!!?? ...

so imagine me banging my head on the table and telling her all my dramas...

after a while she sat back, smiled and said... phew...i thought i did something wrong!

*giggle*

*I'm sorry did i actually think this conversation was about me!?*

*silly me*

but if nothing else i realized that if my boss thinks I'm cranky, well that's just not good, she doesn't pay me to be cranky, she pays me to be perky and friendly and funny... so yes... that is my aim, to fool her into believing that I'm all that anyway... I've done a pretty damn good job of it until now... but she caught me out... what is so funny is that she walked in while i was reading blogs and wanted to work and i was of course irritated by the fact that i couldn't finish the blog i was reading.... mwhahahahahahaha... ironic right?!

among other things i phoned the shrink and demanded to talk to him, they are just never available... the poor man phoned me back and actually talked some sense into me... so onto Concerta we go... what i didn't mention yesterday is that Kay's "problem" goes further than just his concentration levels... he is a very anxious little boy, ok not so little any more... and that's the problem... it's not ok for a 12 year old to be afraid of everything... and I'm not exaggerating, he goes through life scared... and half the time he is hiding the fact that he is scared shitless, and with a dad that seems to be scared of nothing and a mom that wants to prove to him that he doesn't need to be afraid... i think he feels intimidated and humiliated and just basically scared most of the time... there are loads of reasons for it, stuff that happened in the past... but at the end of the day my son's not a happy chappy and i have to be the adult and solve this for him, even if it means putting him on hectic meds until the shrink can brainwash him into believing this world isn't such a hellhole and that not every second person out there is out to harm him, me or his brother... it's very sad and scary... if there is one thing that i don't want, it's for my son to grow into a man who doesn't feel safe... that is a fundamental building block needed for a healthy person... especially a guy... and to act his way through life is just too awful to even comprehend... so my son needs help and I'm getting him some... so basically the meds are ideal for both his problems, convenient yes?... sigh... i'm sorry i always make stupid jokes when stuff upsets me... and yes i'm still upset... but i'm handling it... which is always a good start... and after all... it's not about me now is it...

ok run along... check you all later... have a good one ;)

*... in afrikaans the sandman is called klaasvakie and i had to phone two people to confirm that klaasvakie is indeed the sandman... so if he isn't... i'm talking about that childhood myth of the person who comes and whacks you over the head with a bag of sand so you can fall asleep...